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For 14 years, Colorado had a decent reputation. We were the state that rejected the Olympics. But now Colorado will be home to the U.S. Olympic Hall of Fame, a place to honor American participation in the games.
Trying to say honor,
American
and
Olympics
in the same sentence while keeping a
straight face is virtually impossible. Start with the usual
claim that America is different. Other countries use sports
to further their foreign policy. Their talented athletes
get cushy government or military jobs that allow them to do
nothing but train for the glory of the state. Our athletes,
by contrast, train and compete as individuals.
If our athletes indeed compete as individuals, then why were American sprinters punished at the 1968 games for doing something individualistic -- raising their hands while receiving medals? If our athletes are individuals, not national representatives, then why was it any of the federal government's concern whether or not they participated in the 1980 Olympics?
In theory, all Olympic athletes compete as individuals, not as representatives of their nations; the Olympics are supposed to transcend nationalism. So why are the athletes in national uniforms? Why the national anthems at medal time?
The Olympics are also supposed to represent amateurism at its highest and noblest -- participation for sheer love of sport, not for commercial gain.
Back in 1984, though, every other commercial mentioned the Official Olympic Beer, Car or Candy Bar, none of which has any demonstrable connection with sound minds in sound bodies.
Granted, you need money to stage any sort of big festival, even an extravaganza that honors altruistic purity. If you can't bring in enough money by auctioning off the television rights, you might as well make up the difference by renting out your name.
Isn't it all for a good cause, though? Here we have these dedicated young athletes, devoting their lives to the pursuit of excellence. Presuming that they aren't already collecting money under the table, they deserve our support.
But when one of those athletes wins a gold medal, he generally hastens to sign a lucrative professional contract, or else is engaged to endorse running shoes or breakfast cereal.
You never hear that he is grateful to all those people who made his profitable career possible. He never offers to repay their investment in his now-considerable earning skills. Every time an ad comes on, urging you to donate to an Olympic training fund, you're really being asked to overdraw your checking account so that you can make someone a millionaire at age 21.
If you still feel compelled to help motivated people
become better at what they love to do, by giving money so
that they can forget financial necessity and devote their
entire attention to practice, study and training, I could
suggest the Quillen Struggling Writers' Endowment.
But I won't, because people I know would want me to also
endorse the Foundation to Carry Realtors Through
Depressed Market Conditions
or the Local Contractor
Get-Through-the-Winter-Somehow Fund.
There is national prestige. If our athletes perform well in international competitions, then other countries will regard America more highly, with consequent benefits to our foreign policy.
To believe that is to believe that Nicaragua has a Marxist government because Cuba trains good boxers. Or that Poland remains Communist, not because Russia has a big army, but because Romania produces such talented gymnasts.
The Olympics are a quadrennial exercise in greed and hypocrisy, disguised, as such shams always are, with smooth words about noble ideals. If Colorado must honor the Olympics, there is another hall of fame we should build immediately, and we could even honor local talent.
Many pioneer women displayed a truly Olympian ability to enrich themselves while pretending that it was all done for love. Mattie Silks, Laura Evans, Silverheels, Cock-Eyed Liz and Mollie May are certainly as deserving of perpetual recognition as any Wheaties-box amateur who started drawing a million a year in the big leagues. More importantly, the Hookers Hall of Fame would be a bigger tourist attraction.
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