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And it came to pass, in the eighth season of the reign of Ekway I, that the players and team owners of the National Football League reached an agreement. For three long years, a darkness had fallen across the Rocky Mountain Empire, and it was with elation that the settlement was announced. The beloved Broncos would immediately resume their entertainments for the masses. But the expected wave of jubilation did not arrive.
During the first days of the strike,
conceded the
newspapermen and broadcasters of Colorado, it was indeed
difficult to find stories for our readers and viewers. But
we finally learned that there are topics like air
pollution, transportation, resource development and water
projects. When we put the energy and imagination that we
ones devoted to inane Broncos trivia into those important
topics, we started to feel proud of ourselves and our work,
as if we were serving the public instead of acting as
cheerleaders.
If the Broncos resume playing, our news coverage will
again deteriorate to the pep-assembly level. No, we don't
want the strike to end.
Then came a chorus from the children of Colorado. Our
lives are so much better,
they piped. Our mommies
and daddies used to spend every Sunday afternoon in front
of the TV set, gulping beer with their friends. They never
talked to us or played with us. They just shushed us away,
and hollered at us every time we bothered them during a
game.
Now we go on Sunday rides and picnics. Our parents
pay attention to us. They actually think that their own
children are more important than a bunch of strangers
bashing each other on a screen. If the Broncos play again,
our parents will go back to ignoring us. No, we don't want
the strike to end.
The Broncos had always been viewed as an asset to Colorado's economy, so it was surprising that some of the loudest objections to the end of the strike came from merchants, manufacturers and entrepreneurs.
Our stores once stood deserted on the Sunday
afternoons of autumn,
they explained, and now
they're bustling. Our employees and executives used to
waste hours chattering about retirements and injuries and
any upcoming match-ups with the Raiders. Now they keep
their minds on their work, and productivity has increased
by 71 percent. Colorado is a better place to do
business.
Many of our most talented people once went for the
quick money, turning out orange pennants, caps, jackets,
ashtrays and coffee mugs. Since the strike, they've started
developing and marketing useful, well-made products that
people really want and need. Our industries are becoming
competitive with the Japanese. But if the Broncos take the
field again, we'll quickly sink back to the horrid economic
climate of 1987. No, we don't want the strike to
eyed.
Even the politicians of Colorado, who had always been eager to jump on the Broncos bandwagon in the past, protested the settlement of the strike.
Because the public started paying attention to the
Brown Cloud instead of the Orange Crush
announced the
governor and legislative leaders in the spirit of
cooperation that had become common since the strike, we
have been able to make substantial progress toward reducing
Denver's air pollution.
Further, the voters finally saw the need for improved
transportation and communication in rural areas, perhaps
because they started enjoying their beautiful state on
weekends instead of staring at their TV sets. So the
economy outside the Front Range is finally turning
around.
The best result of the strike is that, without the Broncos for entertainment, Coloradans began watching their legislature. When they saw the antics of the men who were acting in their name and spending their money, the voters replaced every majority incumbent in the election of 1988.
Since the NFL players and owners finally reached a settlement, we win be forced to act. So all professional football games, as well as their mention in print or broadcast media, will henceforth be illegal in Colorado.
From that day forward, Colorado enjoyed a responsible and responsive state government. Its news media were no longer dominated by the trivial and the banal. Its economy surged upward, and its children were the happiest in the land.
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