< PREVIOUS ] [ 1987 Index ] [ Ed Quillen HOME ] [ SEARCH ] [ NEXT >
In the midst of proposed lay-offs and cutbacks in city services, Denver Mayor Federico Peña has received considerable criticism over his decision to purchase a $5,500 computer, along with $2,200 worth of programs. This is necessary, his office says, to keep track of a busy mayor's appointments.
Many active people manage to keep their schedules with nothing more sophisticated than a $4.95 datebook from an office-supply store.
I'll use any excuse to fiddle with my computer while pretending that I'm working, and I've never found any need to purchase $20 worth of software, let alone $2,200 worth, in order to remember that Tuesday is Column Day, that Wednesday is Help-Martha-Fold-Laundry-While-Watching-Movies Night (video rentals are $1 apiece at the local shop on Wednesdays), and that Friday is Find-Someone-Else-to-Buy-Beer Afternoon.
But I'm certainly no expert on computers, so I felt fortunate last weekend to spend several hours with two experts -- people who count in hexadecimal, dream in assembly language and converse in masked interrupts and BIOS calls. I can't use their real names here, so I'll call them Max Byteroom and Ada von Puschenpop.
Why would you need a $2,200 program to manage the
mayor's schedule?
I asked. If it has to be done on a
computer at all, couldn't you just buy a $500 Tandy 102
laptop computer, the kind a lot of reporters use, which has
a scheduling program built in?
Ms. Von Puschenpop explained that that wasn't
appropriate. You have to understand that Mayor
Peña not only looks like the prototypical yuppie
power user, but he also wants to maintain his standing with
that important segment of society.
He can't do that,
she continued, with some
cheap and efficient solution -- it would ruin his image.
Far better for him to get a new IBM PS/2 system and manage
his schedule with a series of complex and bizarre Lotus
1-2-3 macros and templates. In that culture, if you can't
do it in Lotus, you shouldn't be doing it.
Byteroom, however, disagreed with her. You'll never
manage the mayor's schedule with a mere spreadsheet. His
needs are much more complicated than making sure he hasn't
arranged to be in two different places at 10 a.m. on a
given Friday.
How's that?
we both asked him.
Here's an example,
Byteroom explained. Suppose
two people -- we'll assign them as A and B -- both desire
appointments at the same time. Now, A is a run-at-the-mouth
braggart you can't stand, but he gave $10,000 to your last
campaign. B is a decent, co-operative man whose support you
need in order to chicane the public into approving an
unprofitable convention center. However, B actively
supported Bain last spring. Now, which one should get to
meet with the mayor?
Von Puschenpop conceded that such problems lay well beyond a spreadsheet's capabilities, and Byteroom pointed out that sophisticated schedule-management software could have a wealth of other applications.
Once we get the Spitbol language ported to the Intel
80386,
Byteroom continued, we can apply a predicate
calculus in pattern-matching with weighted parameters.
We'll get true decision-making capabilities that extend
beyond schedule management.
Want to know where the new airport should go? Or how
to persuade people that using garbage trucks to pack the
snow on their streets is better than snow removal? Or how
to convince people to improve the air by taking buses when
you've got an official car and driver? How does one back
out gracefully after announcing that the streets will be
salted when nobody wants that corrosion on their cars? Is
there a way to compel the public to support Two
Forks?
I objected before he could catch his breath. I don't
understand,
I complained. Isn't that what a mayor is
elected for? To make decisions when necessary, to provide
leadership on public issues? Why are you turning to
computers and the complex algorithms of artificial
intelligence when there's a person that's supposed to be
doing all that?
You're right. You don't understand,
von
Puschenpop replied. The reason we're working so hard on
artificial intelligence for the mayor's office is that
we've had so much trouble finding any natural intelligence
in there.
< PREVIOUS ] [ 1987 Index ] [ Ed Quillen HOME ] [ SEARCH ] [ NEXT >