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A cynic might explain the Quayle uproar by noting that this is August, when America goes into suspended animation until after Labor Day. Thus the pundits and commentators have happily seized on Dan Quayle's military record -- there just isn't anything else to write about right now.
Or it might be another act of the powerful Liberal Elite
Media Conspiracy. I keep hoping that I'll get invited to
join. It would make life much easier if I didn't have to
pace around the house, growling at the children and hoping
an idea will strike. Instead, I'd just get a phone call:
This is Liberal Elite Media Conspiracy headquarters. We
want you to go after George Bush's abysmal record as
commander-in-chief of the Reagan administration's war on
drugs. The South Florida Task Force is a joke. Cocaine
supplies have increased so much that prices have plunged.
Go for it, Quillen.
But I'm going to buck the trend, and speak up in support of Dan Quayle and his 1969 decision to avoid the draft and possible service in Vietnam by getting his father to pull some strings that put him into a National Guard unit, close to home.
1. He is a Republican, who was continuing a long and honorable party tradition. As the orators reminded us last week, the GOP is the party of Abraham Lincoln.
The first military draft in this country was instituted
by Honest Abe. When the poor were drafted, they got shipped
off to fight under Butcher Grant at Antietam. If the draft
called you and you had means, you could hire a substitute,
or merely pay $300 for an exemption. In the saying of the
day, it was a rich man's war and a poor man's
fight.
[The above paragraph is in error, which is addressed in the Aug. 31, 1988 column.]
Republicans everywhere should rally around Dan Quayle as a man whose actions were consistent with the established principles of their party.
2. Even during his youth, when many of us were headstrong, idealistic, or otherwise irresponsible, Dan Quayle displayed the sensible judgment that we need in our national leaders.
Consider his options. He was a vocal supporter of the Vietnam war, so he couldn't run off to Cananda. On the other hand, it's easy to understand why there wasn't much appeal in slogging around a rice paddy, toting an M-16 and getting shot at.
A stint in the National Guard, writing home-town press releases, was a perfect compromise. He'd have a military record, and he'd also avoid getting stuffed into a body bag. Our political leaders must be skilled in the art of compromise, and Quayle demonstrated a mastery of that skill at an age when most of us were just hanging out and hoping that our lottery number would come up 366.
3. Dan Quayle is a card-carrying member of the baby-boom generation. This is a democracy, and we baby-boomers form a huge bloc of voters. It's about time one of the major parties recognized this.
It's even better that they gave us a candidate so typical of our major aspirations: someone born to wealth and power who has steadfastly gone after more of both, someone dedicated to his career, someone who could slide through college with C's and still get into law school.
Like millions of other baby-boomers, I just can't tell you how proud I feel that one of ours finally made it.
4. The Republican platform is staunchly pro-family, and Dan Quayle provides a living example of one of the major benefits of family life: Fathers do what they can to help their children.
My dad, for instance, spared me the tremendous burdens of inherited wealth. He also taught me various mysteries of the laundryman's craft, so that even today I know how to fire up a boiler at 5 a.m.
Dan Quayle's father likewise wanted to give his son every advantage that his position would allow; in him we have living proof that the traditional family structure is the best way to produce successful, well-adjusted children, just as the Republican platform predicts.
Thus inspired, I'm trying to figure out what I can do for my children, given such status and influence as I've managed to accumulate. The best I can do today is wish my oldest daughter Columbine a happy 13th birthday. That's probably not enough, but perhaps someday I'll be able to buy her a daily newspaper or a seat in the U.S. Senate.
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