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Who'd miss Hispanic culture, anyway?

Published 14-Sep-1988 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1988 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

As it turned out, 1988 was the last year that Colorado celebrated Hispanic Culture Week during September. Later that year, voters approved the Official English amendment to their state constitution. Outraged this insult to them and their contributions to Colorado life, Hispanics said they no longer felt welcome. They quickly acted to remove themselves and all signs of their culture from what was thenceforth called the State of Red.

The effects were immediately noticed by miners, who could no longer speak of placer deposits, nor of bonanzas. Many mines had to tear down their headframes, which resembled those first used in the Guanajuato district of Mexico, and all ore-grinding mills that traced their ancestry to arrastras were likewise dismantled.

But farmers felt a much greater impact. Not only were they deprived of much of their labor force for cultivation and harvesting, but they also learned that they could no longer irrigate their fields.

Some historians argued that irrigation was part of mankind's common cultural heritage, since the practice was apparently invented in China sometime before 2200 B.C.

But that didn't bring irrigation back to Red. Those citizens of Red who had a Chinese background quickly pointed out that their ancestors' experiences here hadn't been all that pleasant: In the Leadville of 1880, prominent signs announced that All Chinamen will be shot, and that same year, an anti-Chinese riot erupted in Denver, resulting in burned buildings and at least one death.

Besides, the evidence was fairly convincing that the state's modern irrigation practices had been introduced by the Hispanic colonists of 1851 who laboriously carved out the acequias which carried water to their fields.

Thus the farmers were forced to change crops. Again, there were arguments that corn, pinto beans and potatoes were not really Hispanic contributions, but came from the Mayas, Hopis and Incas. But as Frederick Vickers, once a state official in Red, had commented, the only truly good Indians are dead ones. While Hispanic and Indian scholars argued as to whose ancestors had introduced which crops to Red, the speakers of Official English were denied all use of those crops.

The daily diet changed radically in Red. No one could argue about the origins of tacos, enchiladas, tortillas, burritos, nachos, chili verde, huevos rancheros and other staples of the Red cuisine. Upscale beer drinkers no longer displayed their bottles of Corona, and discerning tipplers greatly missed their Negra Modelo. Those who enjoyed beef with their dark beer felt doubly deprived when they learned that it was the Spanish who brought the cow to America.

The Spanish also brought the horse, and the whole idea of herding cows on the range was invented by Hispanic vaqueros. Cowboy hats and cowboy boots, both developed for that enterprise, had to be abandoned; many residents of Red suddenly felt naked every time they went outdoors.

Further, no more rodeos could be held in Red. One of Denver's major conventions, the National Western Stock Show, was canceled forever in 1989 when its organizers realized that men who spoke Spanish had also brought domestic sheep, goats and swine to America. Without Hispanic culture, there wasn't any livestock industry.

Meanwhile, legal historians pored over the records of the state's constitutional convention of 1875-76, so that they could remove any sections, clauses, phrases, words or ideas which might have been contributed by Agapeta Vigil, Jesus M. Garcia or Casimiro Barela.

But the biggest shock came when someone pointed out that the word Bronco came from Mexican Spanish. The law-abiding management of the football team quickly removed the bronco from the scoreboard. They changed the team's name to the Denver Bronx. But even the South Stands fans had trouble learning the required Bronx cheer.

When asked what she thought of all the complication she had wrought with her Official English amendment, Barbara Philips, a state representative from Red Springs, refused to comment. The last poll we took, in the summer of 1988, showed that people still supported us, she said, and I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.


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