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How an issue vanished

Published 2-Oct-1988 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1988 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

About 20 minutes after George Bush announced that his running mate would be J. Danforth Quayle, and the details of the Indiana senator's background began to appear, I was certain that Bush had just figured out how to lose the election.

But I was wrong. The Republican ticket is doing well in the polls as the Quayle uproar has subsided. Mystified by this turnabout, I called my favorite inside source: Ananias Ziegler, the press secretary for the Committee that Really Runs America.

I wanted to know what happened to that great surge of anti-Quayle sentiment last summer.

A lot of people were angry at the time, Ziegler conceded. You had an image of this pampered rich kid with meager talent, but great connections. He supported the war in Vietnam, but pulled strings to stay near home in the National Guard, where he wouldn't get shot at. His own father said he majored in 'booze and broads' in college, and he had only a C average -- but he still gets into law school. And so forth.

So how did Ziegler and the committee defuse the controversy?

It wasn't spin control. We're good, but not that good, Ziegler explained. Truth be told, we didn't need to do anything. The anger was based on resentment, and the resentment was bound to fade, for the same reason that there will never be a revolution in America.

How's that?

It's complicated. Okay, look at Dan Quayle. He's no Abraham Lincoln or Lyndon Johnson. He's not some smart, ambitious guy clawing his way up from poverty. He has a charming smile and he's a tolerable golfer. Let's put it this way -- if some black kid from the wrong side of the tracks had been born with Dan Quayle's exact abilities, that kid would not have grown up to be anywhere near a heartbeat from the presidency.

So why aren't people still upset about the rise of the least deserving mediocrity since Incitatus? Where did the anger go?

Let me finish. There are two ways to respond that kind of inequity. In many societies, a large group of people would unite, and that group would struggle to eliminate the inequities that allow the lackluster Quayles to shine while more talented people languish in obscurity and poverty. In short, you'd have a revolution in the making, bent on toppling an unjust system.

But not in America.

No, of course not. That's the peculiar genius of the American way. You see, in this country, it's a lot easier to find a way to benefit from the inequities than it is to change the whole system.

Explain that.

Do you want a society that is perfectly fair so much that you are willing to devote your life to fighting for such a society? Is it worth the risks of revolution -- draconian repression if you fail, and if you should win, the probable emergence of some terrible despotism, even more unjust?

That's a chance few people want to take. America is set up so that it is easier, much easier, to find some scam or hustle that gives you a bit of an advantage. Once you find your little edge, you don't care that a few people have bigger edges, or worry that a lot of people don't have any edge at all.

Nobody with a lick of common sense says How can we put an end to this undeserved privilege? Instead, we all think How can I get some money and connections, so that I can enjoy the best that America has to offer? That's why there will never a be a revolution in America. And that's why nobody's upset about Dan Quayle's shabby and shadowy résumé. The vast majority of Americans would rather find a way to benefit from injustice than struggle to put an end to injustice. And I bet you're one of them.

I wouldn't admit it to him, of course, but he was right. For one thing, if we got rid of injustice and privilege, what would I have to write about?


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