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There is a popular bumper sticker whose message,
translated into Official English, is that Events
occur.
Since the published words are rather coarse,
many people are thereby perturbed. But the real problem
with that message is that nobody really believes it.
Nothing is allow to just happen.
There is always
someone or something to blame -- a scapegoat, which is one
of our great conveniences.
Consider Denver's noxious air. If people truly wanted to eliminate the Brown Cloud, they'd quit driving their cars, because there is a considerable connection between automobile exhaust and the toxicity of the Mile High atmosphere. But your car is at your instant command; you don't have to wait for it. It's private, so you won't suffer the humiliation of sitting next to someone of an inferior economic class.
Cars are so wonderful that nobody wants to be honest about curing the Brown Cloud, especially not when it's so much easier to transfer the blame to a scapegoat. Just quit burning coal in power plants, and Denver's sky will sparkle. If that doesn't clear the air, then the monoxide alerts must result from the embers of metropolitan fireplaces. When those cease smoking and the air is still defiled, other scapegoats will be brought forth: exhaust from older automobiles, emissions from toilet vent pipes, smoke from charcoal barbecues, particulates from burning tobacco.
Since this is the day for predictions, it's safe to predict that the scapegoat search will continue through 1989 as Denver refuses to come to terms with its atmospheric woes.
It is also safe to predict that many of our old favorite scapegoats, used in other matters, will continue to operate with full force and effect throughout the coming year.
One favorite is International Terrorism, which points out the main reason governments operate -- to do things which are illegal for individuals to do. If you went around with a gun, threatening to take people's houses away if they didn't give you money, you'd be charged with extortion; when your county government does precisely the same thing, it is merely a legitimate function of government. When a government blows a civilian airliner out of the sky, it is a reasonable action; when people do exactly the same thing on their own, it's the ghastly specter of International Terrorism.
With this scapegoat in place, we are led to believe that something can be done to make the world safe for jetting. No one bothers to mention that even if every International Terrorist on earth were hanged, drawn and quartered, civilian airliners would still get blown out of the sky.
An even more versatile scapegoat is Substance Abuse, suitable for almost all occasions. Did an athlete stumble? Or did he set a surprising record? Either way, it has to be the result of Substance Abuse, which is also quite useful for explaining train derailments, highway fatalities, low productivity and general ineptitude. One wonders whether anything ever went wrong in those halcyon days before Substance Abuse was discovered.
We also have a vast assortment of more specialized scapegoats: Computer Viruses which scramble our data, Meddling Bureaucrats who throttle our businesses, Satanic Song Lyrics which corrupt our youth.
Despite the bumper stickers, we don't really believe
that anything just happens
in America. For further
proof, observe that after any misfortune, there is always a
great rush to file lawsuits against any and all conceivable
scapegoats. And then, of course, to blame any remaining
problems on our favorite scapegoat, Lawyers.
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