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A road by any name would kill as dead

Published 4-Jan-1989 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1989 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

A letter in last Wednesday's Post complained that the tourism boosters have been at it again. This time, 232 miles of highway have been christened with a beguiling new name, the San Juan Skyway, which should lure free-spending tourists from as far away as Arizona, maybe even Utah. In the process, we lost a familiar route, the Million Dollar Highway.

I have always respected the scenery, avalanche zones, black ice and hairpin curves along that 23 miles from Silverton to Ouray. But I've never understood why it is the Million Dollar Highway. I've seen three explanations:

1. Otto Mears spent a million dollars to build the first toll road up the Uncompahgre Gorge and on over Red Mountain Pass.

2. Construction cost a million dollars per mile, which was real money at the time.

3. The gravel once used to surface the road came from the ores of the San Juan mines, and carried a million dollars' worth of gold and silver.

Before 1925, all highways had names, rather than numbers, and from what I can gather, most of those names emerged for unknown reasons, too.

U.S. 40 was the Victory Highway. Why was it, any more than any other road in America, connected with a victory? U.S. 50 was the Rainbow Route, although it is not shaped like a rainbow; it runs quite directly from Washington to San Francisco. You sometimes see brochures touting U.S. 160 through Colorado as the Navajo Trail, although the Navajo were never Colorado residents.

Before the automobile, people were more prosaic. The principal pioneer route to the West was known simply as the Platte River Road. To get from Pueblo to New Mexico, you took the Taos Trappers' Trail. Westbound in Dodge City, Kan., you chose between the Mountain Branch and the Cimarron Cutoff, both branches of the Santa Fe Trail.

Our ancestors seldom used anything other than the most practical name. The only exception I know of is the Smoky Hill Trail, which ran east from Denver in 1859. In flights of fancy, it was sometimes called the Starvation Road or even the Smoky Hell Trail.

But that information comes from official sources, and the names people really use are seldom found on government maps. You learn that quickly in a rural area. When visiting Cripple Creek, I was constantly mystified by constant references to the High Line, Phantom Canyon and the Shelf Road. I was often lost during my first year in Kremmling because I could not locate the Trough Road, Parshall Divide, the Back Troublesome and the Front Troublesome -- all prominent arteries in western Middle Park.

To Denverites, the Valley is a highway. In this part of the state, where the Valley is the San Luis Valley, there is the Gunbarrel -- 35 miles of perfectly straight U.S. 285 between Saguache and Monte Vista.

Those common names don't appear on the official state highway map, and neither does one that is even more convenient. Or maybe you think it's easier to say Take Colo. 119 north from Blackhawk to Nederland, then follow Colo. 72 to Raymond, where you proceed on Colo. 7 to Estes Park than it is to say Peak to Peak Highway.

Whether anyone likes it or not, perhaps the San Juan Skyway will catch on; the state may even put it on maps. And then we might consider some other highways that could use better names.

Radioactive Route is certainly more concise than Colo. 93 between Golden and Boulder. Local pride leads me to suggest Stairway to Heaven for the eastern approach to Monarch Pass. Climbing at 214 feet to the mile from Poncha Springs to the summit, it is the steepest long stretch of year-round highway in the state. What makes the name even more fitting is that the curves near Garfield lead the state in fatalities per passenger mile.

And look at the boring designations for other roads. Killer 82 from Carbondale to Aspen. Killer 83 in the Denver suburbs. Pray for me, I drive 285 from Denver to Bailey. Unless we come up with some better names, people might get the idea that Colorado highways are dangerous.


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