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As Ronald Reagan eases from the White House into the
history books, one of my daughters asked me to explain
the Reagan legacy.
America stands tall in the world again,
I began.
We get respect from other countries.
That's sure true.
She glanced around the house.
The Japanese respect us so much that they sent us that
VCR and the TV set. The South Koreans sent us that
microwave. We've got computers filled with parts from
Taiwan, Malaysia, Singapore, Mexico -- that's a lot of
respect, just in our little house.
That wasn't quite what I meant, so I clarified it.
I'm talking about a different kind of respect.
Oh, I see. It's like Granada, or shooting down
airliners. You know, there are people at school I respect
that way, too. When they want my lunch money...
Never mind,
I interrupted. Another important
part of the Reagan legacy is that there were 17 million new
jobs during his tenure.
But dad, Jimmy Carter was in the White House only
four years, and there were 9 million new jobs then. It
works out about the same. Why was President Carter a
disaster and President Reagan a great leader? And besides,
if there are all those new jobs, why doesn't anybody around
here have a job? Before he took office, the Climax Mine had
3,000 men working and there weren't empty stores downtown.
Now the only jobs are at Wal-Mart and McDonald's, and I've
heard they don't pay all that well.
Some matters are too complicated to explain to children,
so I shifted the subject. I suppose things are better in
other parts of the country. I'm sure there will be many
opportunities for you when you grow up.
She got excited. You're right. I can't wait to buy a
savings and loan and then loot it. The way I understand it,
you get money from depositors, and the federal government
insures them so they don't lose their money. And then you
can take that money and speculate in commercial real
estate. If it works, you make tons of money. If the bubble
bursts, then you still come out okay, because you've
skimmed some of the loans.
Again I had to interrupt. I think that particular
window of opportunity will be closed soon.
Only momentarily was she crestfallen. Well, I could
still get a job in Washington for a while, gain some
influence, and then peddle it, like Mike Deaver. Or maybe I
could be a writer like you, except I'd make real money
because I could write kiss-and-tell books about my time in
public service. You know, Dad, President Reagan reminds me
of what I've read about President Kennedy. They've both
inspired generations to go into public service.
What's wrong with your schools, I wondered. This modern value-free education isn't teaching kids that there's any difference between joining the Peace Corps and hiring on as a Beltway Bandit. It's up to parents, although it seems as though we're working all the time, just to keep our heads above water. Maybe there's an heroic role model out there for her.
As if she could read my thoughts, she mentioned one.
Isn't Ollie North great? He sells government property,
and instead of turning the money over to the government, he
uses it to finance unauthorized wars in Central America.
Even better, now he gets $25,000 just for talking to
law-and-order people. Do you know any way I could do
something like that when I grow up?
Ah, finally. One joy of fatherhood is giving advice to
your children. Forget studying algebra or science,
because it isn't important to invent or build things
anymore. Dress better, learn how to be charming while
deceitful, and see if you can devise financial
instruments.
She was thrilled. So I can make $6 million a month
hustling junk bonds, or get a $200 million commission on a
leveraged buy-out?
No. So you can figure out some way of paying the $1.5
trillion debt that Ronald Reagan left you as your
legacy.
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