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The return of 'Dooh Nibor' (Robin Hood in reverse)

Published 26-Feb-1989 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1989 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Wholesale prices were rising. Wall Street was getting jumpy. The Dow-Jones was dropping. Not at all concerned about my investments, since I have none, but still curious, I got through to my favorite inside source, Ananias Ziegler, public relations director for the Committee That Really Runs America.

Why's everybody so jittery about renewed inflation? I wondered. Out here in Colorado, inflation has always been good for us.

Clever of you to notice that, Ziegler replied. When prices rise 15 percent a year, you've got a booming real-estate market, your farmers prosper, your mines run at full production. When there's no inflation, you're dead in the water. You've been there for what, eight years now?

I sadly agreed. Ever since the Reagan regime began.

Ziegler laughed. A triumph of public relations. Here we adopt economic policies that shaft the West, and guess which part of the country supported Reagan most enthusiastically? You Westerners are wonderful. All we have to do is tell you what you like to hear -- a few catch phrases like no gun control, Sagebrush Rebellion, rugged individualism -- and you go away smiling. You never notice that our economic policies benefit other regions of the country, not you.

How's that? I inquired. I know that halting inflation worked against us, but whom did it benefit?

The West is short on capital. It runs on borrowed money from the East. Inflation benefits the borrower, because he repays his loan in cheaper dollars. You can see how that would hurt the lender. When inflation halts, it's the other way around. The borrower suffers and the lender benefits. Since the West borrows and the East lends -- do I have to draw you a picture to demonstrate how the West got taken by Reagan's policies while the East benefited?

But I read a lot of political analysis about how Reagan represented the new Sunbelt wing of the Republican party, which had taken over from the old Wall Street party powers. You mean he was on Wall Street's side all the time?

It sure worked out that way. Ziegler laughed. Goes to show you how much you can trust political analysis, doesn't it?

So I suppose these renewed fears of inflation will give President Bush an excuse to make sure the West doesn't prosper?

Of course, Ziegler predicted. But we've discovered an even better way to play Robin Hood in reverse. No more regional games. We're going to milk one economic class to help another. All we have to do is continue with 'no new taxes.'

Just how does that take from the poor and give to the rich?

If the federal government ran on a balanced budget, then all your taxes would buy goods and services that presumably benefit everyone, right? But since the budget isn't balanced -- and won't be, as long as there are no new taxes -- the federal government has to borrow every year and pay interest.

Stands to reason, I granted.

Did you know that interest comes right behind defense and Social Security in the federal budget? It takes 13.6 percent of all federal spending.

I did some quick figuring. The average personal return involves an income tax of $3,931. So $534.62 of that goes to interest -- that means that 83 million working Americans are each paying $10.28 a week for interest on the federal debt.

How right you are. Ziegler's laugh was almost sardonic. That $10.28 a week from every working person goes to the holders of the federal deficit. Just how many working people do you know who buy $500,000 20-year treasury notes or even $10,000 90-day T-bills?

I whistled with admiration. No new taxes means continued borrowing which means more interest payments, which are in effect an income transfer from the people who do productive work to the people who clip coupons. You're right. It is Robin Hood in reverse.

Ziegler laughed again before he hung up. But they'll all think we're on the little guy's side when we keep saying 'no new taxes.' As nearly as we can tell, most of America is as gullible as the West.


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