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Most colleges require potential students to take a standardized test, such as the ACT or SAT, whose scores help determine who gets a chance at a university degree and the ensuing good things in life.
Some groups, such as white males, do better than other groups. For years, blacks have complained that the tests exhibit a cultural bias which has no relationship to intelligence or likelihood of academic success. Feminists have recently joined the chorus.
The makers of the tests deny any cultural bias. They say
there are no questions like Yacht is to regatta as
cummerbund is to -----,
Net Redemption is to a
High-Yield High-Risk Bond Fund as Disintermediation is to
--------,
or When a fax machine is transmitting an
order for Chateau St. Jean 1961 Chardonnay to a wine
boutique from the cellular telephone in a BMW stuck in
downtown traffic, do the buildings interfere with signal
quality: A) Substantially? B) Not at all, because most of
the offices are empty? C) In inverse proportion to sporadic
E skip disturbances in the Heaviside Layer?
But then again, there certainly aren't any questions like these, either:
If an O.G. Crip calls a Blood an Oo-lah, the most
probable consequence is: A) Somebody gets smoked B) The
Blood Calls the Crip a Crab C) They head-up.
Which will receive more attention: A) The 1,700 black
women who are murdered every year? B) A brutal attack on an
upscale white jogger in Manhattan?
Feminists complain that the tests cover things that boys
are interested in, like If rods of palladium and
platinum are immersed in deuterium oxide, the result is A)
Muons and Helium-4 B) $25 million from the Utah treasury C)
Electricity too cheap to meter D) Yet another
disappointment.
But the tests allegedly do not ask about things girls
might know more about, such as A D&C is to an
abortion as Dan Quayle is to A) an ignoramus B) a happy
camper c) a horseshoe stake.
Granted, I'm a white male, but when I took those tests years ago, my own cultural knowledge wasn't much help. I never saw questions like:
After a 20-amp fuse blows, it should be replaced
with: A) Penny B) Wadded tinfoil C) 60-amp fuse D) Coleman
lantern.
Or we could try this tidbit of Blue-Collar cultural bias:
Before you slide the head back into place when you're working on an old Chevy stovebolt six, you should:
A. Write a thank-you note to your legislature for repealing the state's inspection law, so that you're not faced with the necessity of replacing the squealing brakes and cracked windshield, too.
B. Insert the back four pushrods, using clothespins to hold them above the block as you slide the head back, because if you bolt the head in first, the overhang on the firewall will then prevent you from inserting the pushrods.
C. Buy your mechanical brother-in-law a case of Old Milwaukee, and shag tools for him until the beer takes effect and he starts adjusting tappets with a cold chisel and a four-pound hammer.
Colleges say the SAT is the best predictor of academic performance. I know a guy who got a combined SAT score of over 1500, which should have made him a stellar student and a conspicuous success.
However, he was a mediocre student. He dropped out of college twice, seldom held a job for very long, and hardly advanced in a career marked by disputes with his employers. Today he is steadfastly unemployed, although he manages to eke out a living in a remote town.
I know him real well, and until America starts handing out money for scoring well on tests, he's going to believe that SAT scores are less reliable than astrology, phrenology or rolling dice.
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