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Endorsements from celebrities are old hat in advertising, but lately we've been seeing a new trend -- the celebrities are dead.
Advertising historians say IBM started it all eight years ago when its ads featured the Little Tramp, the famous Charlie Chaplin character. IBM wanted us to believe computers were for all sorts of people, not only soldering-iron wizards with thick glasses who wear plastic protectors in their shirt pockets.
Now Marilyn Monroe appears on behalf of Alaska, explaining that one blemish does not ruin a classic beauty. James Dean touts sunglasses, and I recall seeing Babe Ruth recently, though I don't remember what product the Sultan of Swat was promoting.
The advertising industry explains that dead celebrities are like living celebrities, in that they offer easy recognition. But the dead ones are an improvement, because corpses won't go out and do something that will embarrass you -- recall how Pepsi had to pull an expensive Madonna spot after religious groups complained about one of her song videos?
In life, though, the currently fashionable dead celebrities did plenty of embarrassing things. There's no need to detail Marilyn Monroe's affairs, which may have reached the White House. Two of Charlie Chaplin's divorces produced lurid and scandalous headlines, as did a paternity suit, and for 20 years, he was essentially exiled from the United States for alleged Communist sympathies. James Dean enjoyed holding lit cigarettes against his chest. Babe Ruth's skirt-chasing and beer-guzzling were legendary.
Things have certainly changed from the days when Marc
Antony began Julius Caesar's funeral oration with The
evil that men do lives after them. The good is oft interred
with their bones.
This trend is so effective that it will spread to political messages and we'll soon see these ads:
· His Royal Majesty George III, King of
England, devoted his life to making his empire safe for
investment by trying to eradicate seditious nonsense like
'All Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their
Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these
are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.' Today,
you can help carry on his lifelong work by making China a
safe place to do business. Send your support to the Chinese
Army, c/o Deng Xiaoping, Beijing.
· Gospszha Dzhugashvili could have gotten an
abortion. Ins 1879, abortion was readily available in the
Russian village of Gori. Many would say she should have,
since her son, Joseph, was subjected to savage beatings by
her husband, a drunken and impoverished cobbler. But she
didn't go to an abortionist. Instead, she doted on the boy,
and he grew up to be Josef Stalin, butcher of millions.
Make sure every potential child lives up to his potential,
either as a bloodthirsty tyrant or as a victim of famine
and purge -- write your state legislature now and demand an
end to abortion.
· This is Reichsmarshal Herman Goering,
sentenced to death at Nuremburg -- just for following
orders like a good soldier. Don't let another patriotic,
obedient soldier suffer an undeserved sentence. Ollie North
needs your money, right now, or else he'll have to spend
1,200 hours working in an anti-drug program and he won't
have time to write his lucrative memoirs. Send $25,000, and
Ollie will come and speak to you. If you can spare only
$1,000, you'll get a personalized thank-you note, along
with a special U.S. flag that has been wrapped around Ollie
-- and this Old Glory is woven from wholesome American made
asbestos fiber; so that no pinko can burn it.
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