< PREVIOUS ] [ 1989 Index ] [ Ed Quillen HOME ] [ SEARCH ] [ NEXT >
The Great Quake of '89 wasn't all that surprising -- earthquakes in the Bay Area are to be expected, like avalanches in the Rockies or scandals in Washington. The big surprise has been the lack of a certain kind of response.
Turn on an AM radio late at night when the ozone is reflecting distant signals. Amid the squealing heterodynes, you'll find a thrilling variety of snake-fondling pastors discoursing from backwoods studios in Arkansas and Oklahoma. With dark references to Gog and Magog, the preachers explain how the prophecies of Ezekiel, Daniel and Revelations are coming true even as they speak. Since the world is going to end next week, you might as well sell all your earthly goods and send the proceeds to a certain vital ministry.
But not one of these clerics has pointed out how the quake represents heavenly displeasure with wicked San Francisco, which in their view must be the finest target for divine wrath since Sodom disappeared.
Nor have any New Age necromancers leapt forward to take credit for successful prophecy. For the past 25 years, we have been bombarded by horoscopic, crystal-ball and Tarot-card predictions that California was in imminent danger of sliding into the sea.
Granted, Grand Junction isn't exactly a seaport yet, so
the visions haven't quite come true. But the seismic
event
Tuesday certainly represented another of Gaia's
trembling steps toward the oft-prophesied day when
California will disappear.
Without California, American politics will be elevated. The Golden State has given us three presidents. Herbert Hoover presided over the Great Depression. Richard Nixon resigned to avoid impeachment occasioned by his many flagrant lies.
Then came Ronald Reagan, the president who made
sleaze
a household word. Not only did he triple the
national debt after running on a platform of fiscal
prudence, he presided over at least $200 billion worth of
scandal: Iran-contra, HUD, defense procurement,
savings-and-loans, nuclear-weapons plants and farm credit
abuses, to name a few.
Most of what is worst in American presidential politics was invented in California; read any of the late Theodore White's books for a full explanation of how California changed campaigns. It was there that it became more important for a candidate to produce sound bites than for him to utter anything intelligent. The Bush campaign's Willie Horton distortions are a direct descendant of the fake newsreels that California Republicans used to discredit Upton Sinclair when he ran for governor in 1934.
On a local level, California sets terrible examples that are unfortunately emulated by other states. Los Angeles junked a good interurban mass transit system to build freeways; now most American cities are caught in gridlock and toxic fumes. California passed Proposition 13 in 1978; for the past decade, Colorado has to endure a tax-limitation measure on every state ballot. The disgusting notion of Official English was the brainchild of S.I. Hawakaya, a California politician.
Whenever a new species of lunacy infects American culture, it's safe to bet that the madness originated in California, where it was first accepted that people have an unalienable right to feel good about themselves. California has enriched American life with hot tubs, encounter groups, rolfing sessions, primal screams and consumption so conspicuous that it surpasses ostentation.
California is where America happens first, and when it goes, we'll all have to start thinking for ourselves. That's a frightening prospect, and the first to suffer will be Colorado politicians.
For most of this century, they've been telling us that
we've got to build more pork-barrel dams and destructive
diversions here, or else our water will just flow to
California.
What are they going to do when there is no
California?
< PREVIOUS ] [ 1989 Index ] [ Ed Quillen HOME ] [ SEARCH ] [ NEXT >