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While voters elsewhere in Colorado displayed an understandable reluctance to spend more money on government Tuesday, Denverites agreed by an overwhelming margin to get another day older and deeper in debt.
The $241.3 million will be used for some surprising purposes. As best I know, The Denver institution most in need of money is the Denver Public Library, where there isn't enough shelf space for thousands of books which now languish in the cellar.
At the moment, downtown Denver has an abundance of new
buildings available at Chapter 11 prices, so this would be
an excellent time for a bigger library building. But that
wasn't one of the 10 parts of the bond issue. So much for
investing in the information age.
Denver often complains about its cow town
image,
and yet Denver voters decided to spend millions just to
keep the National Western Stock Show in town. That's no way
to develop a reputation for glamour and sophistication --
has Paris ever been known for its livestock exhibitions?
Besides, if the stock show had been allowed to move to
Oklahoma City, winters would be milder, because Mother
Nature would lose her excuse for that annual January blast
of bone-chilling stock-show weather.
The entire bond issue -- air-conditioning for city hall, repairs to viaducts and streets, that sort of thing -- is just a patch job anyway. What Denver needs to do is think big, and solve all its problems with one bold stroke: a dome that covers the entire city.
One minor political problem must be resolved first. The 111 square miles of Denver have quite irregular boundaries, and a dome needs a circular base. But since Freda Poundstone is out of politics at the moment, Denver should be able to perform the necessary annexations.
The resulting city would be 12 miles in diameter and
embrace 113.04 square miles, covered by a translucent
geodesic dome on the range
that extends 30,000 feet
above the plains, thus making Denver the seven-mile-high
city.
There's a distinction that no other chamber of
commerce can brag on.
Such a dome would demand a tremendous initial investment, but it would save money in the long run. The climate of the entire city could be controlled. City hall wouldn't need air conditioning, and neither would any other building.
Major-league baseball would instantly open a Denver franchise. Why mess around with domed stadiums when you can play in a domed city?
Denver could attract more population and reach the magic 500,000 figure which entitles a city to a wider berth at the federal trough. A covered Denver would be widely known as a pleasant place to live, since the dome would keep out insects, pigeons, mice and all other forms of vermin except telemarketers.
Political support should fall into line quickly. The most powerful metropolitan entity is the Denver Water Board, and the dome would expand the water board's powers. It never rains inside a dome, so the water board would have an absolute monopoly on a necessity. Higher rates should mean a happy water board, since it would have more money to spend on lobbying for Two Forks.
Note that it never snows inside a dome, either. No matter who served as mayor, he could relax during the winter without the nagging fear that he will feel the wrath of the voters after a blizzard roars in and paralyzes his plow crews to the extent that they can't even make it to the convenience store to drink coffee on city time.
And finally, the dome would trap all emissions, thus
preventing Denver's plume of pollution from poisoning
innocent Kansans. A dome sounds far-fetched, perhaps, but
just put 200,000 motorists under it so they have to breathe
every last fume they produce. Denver would quickly clean up
its act, and that's more than you can say for this or any
other year's version of the Better Air Campaign.
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