< PREVIOUS ]   [ 1990 Index ]   [ Ed Quillen HOME ]   [ SEARCH ]   [ NEXT >


How to get your own way in the '90s

Published 27-May-1990 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1990 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Whenever you go into a place where books are sold, you always see several rows of how-to manuals which range from repairing your bicycle to performing a complete overhaul on your personality, at home in your spare time.

Despite this abundance, one seems to be missing -- a book that explains modern ways to handle criticism and opposition, so that you can get your own way.

· Accuse your opponent of bashing. This saves you from having to answer his argument. For instance, a recent essay in the New York Times Book Review took issue with several aspects of deconstructionist literary theory, which prevails in many modern university English departments.

A perturbed professor replied. Did he explain what previously hidden truths and insights were made available to scholars by deconstructionism? Of course not. He instead said the essayist had just indulged in another round of academic-bashing.

· If your opponent is not a basher, he suffers from a mental disorder. If you point out that there are many deadly diseases besides AIDS, and that if public money is to be spent on disease research, there are many legitimate contenders, you're not raising an issue of public policy deserving of discussion. Instead, you're a homophobe.

Should you wonder why the public tolerates special campaign funds like EMILY, which go only to female candidates, when there would be a huge uproar if there were similar funds serving only male candidates, you won't get to discuss that issue. Instead, you'll be a misogynist.

· Make it a constitutional issue. The recent flap over Linda Chavez not giving the commencement speech at UNC is a perfect example. Her constitutional right of free speech was never in question; at any time, she could get up on a soap box and promote Official English. The question was whether she should be paid to do that.

That's hardly a constitutional issue, but by hollering about her rights of free speech and by handling out copies of the constitution, she fooled a lot of people into thinking it was.

· Refuse to discuss it. Would a voucher system result in a better educational system? The NEA says such heinous ideas should not even be studied. Would re-legalizing drugs produce a saner society? Our governor says we shouldn't even think about such things.

Combine these methods, and you should be able to push just about anything through. The baseball stadium promoters might go about it this way: There is no reason even to consider the unbased conjectures posed by those taxophobic sports-bashers who are intent on attacking the American ideal of pursuit of happiness by young millionaires.

Any day now, we'll probably see a statement like this from a former Silverado executive, probably living in a tropical country which has no extradition treaty with the U.S.: This is just the latest round of plutophobic banker-bashing to undermine public confidence in our constitutional institutions, and there is absolutely no reason to question the sacred obligation of the working people of the United States to pay off those widows and orphans who shopped around the country for the highest rate of return on their $100,000 CDs.


< PREVIOUS ]   [ 1990 Index ]   [ Ed Quillen HOME ]   [ SEARCH ]   [ NEXT >