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Our legislators have adjourned, and unfortunately they missed several opportunities to preserve the peace and dignity of the people of the state of Colorado. All they had to do was create a few new felonies:
· Public operation of a video camera. If somebody wants to use one of these devices in the privacy of his own home or yard, that's his problem.
It becomes a social problem when video cameras appear at public events. If you go as a mere spectator, you can't just sit down and watch the show, because dozens of people are standing up in front of you, each capturing the event on video tape. Some of them even have tripods to insure that your view is utterly blocked. Many of them also string long power cables, so that with every step, you risk electrocution, or a lawsuit because when you tripped over a cable, you pulled down $3,000 worth of video gear.
Nor can you escape these horrors by sitting in front. There, every time you move your head, you'll block some amateur cameraman's efforts, and he'll protest quite loudly.
Face it. If an event is memorable, you'll remember it anyway. If the event isn't memorable, why record it?
· Arrogant Possession or Use of a Mountain Bike. No longer is it possible to walk anywhere without the constant fear of getting clipped by a silent bicycle. These rugged machines swoop along mountain trails, front yards, even rutted alleys when you're crawling home from the saloon.
But even worse is what you see on the highways. It used to be that Colorado's hard-core manic drivers -- you know, the people that pass you against a double-yellow line when you're already driving 75 across South Park -- were all skiers. Now those cars all tote mountain bikes.
Granted, it is the American way to drive 300 miles in order to cycle for 20, and to show off your $1,200 recreational machine by inverting it atop your BMW. But we have to draw the line somewhere on conspicuous consumption, and here's a good place to start.
· Moronic Public Statements. Denver just won an
award for its efforts in cleaning up its air. Observe the
reactions. Did anyone say This is wonderful for the
citizens of Denver, who can live longer and better lives
because the air is cleaner,
and just leave it at
that?
No. Mayor Federico Pe˜a first had to point out that
cleaner air is good for our own economy in that it
attracts business.
Dick Fleming of Denver's chamber
noted that This certainly will be very helpful as we
continue to market Denver.
Obviously, the only reason to care about air quality is to attract more business. Of course, the more business, the more people driving to work each morning, and the more commuters, the worse the air.
Since they can't make that connection on their own, the law must step in. Where's the legislature when we need it?
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