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Curious about Denver's latest efforts to land a major-league baseball team, I called my favorite inside source, Ananias Ziegler, media relations director for the Committee That Really Runs America.
Is Denver going to get a major-league team if its
voters agree next month to finance a baseball-only
stadium?
I asked.
How much do you want to see a live major-league
game?
he asked in turn.
Not enough to fly to Kansas City or Chicago,
I
conceded, but I'd certainly catch an occasional game if
I could see one in Denver. I like baseball. It's the only
game played without a clock, and we live in a society that
has too many damn clocks.
Let's keep this practical, not philosophical. You're
not George Will,
Ziegler said. So if Denver had a
major-league team, lots of people from the hinterlands
might spend more time, and thus more money, in Denver. And
that would improve the economy.
That's a big reason for a tax-financed stadium,
I
explained.
Ziegler laughed. Here you're taxing people who make
an average of $18,000 a year to provide a workplace for
young men who make an average of $450,000 a year. The other
new jobs will be at minimum wage as groundskeepers or motel
maids. As for gate revenue, it comes either from Denver
residents, or from people like you, who live in towns even
poorer than Denver.
So what?
I wondered.
Isn't the idea behind economic development to bring
in new money? But in Colorado, economic development means
shuffling around existing money so that millions of dollars
go to a 24-year-old kid with a good right arm.
So maybe it isn't a real wise economic move,
I
granted. But isn't it worth something to have a
major-league city? Won't it improve Denver's image?
What you don't understand,
Ziegler said, is
that Major League Baseball is playing a game with Denver.
They find it quite amusing. Years ago, Denver flirted with
the proposed Continental League. The baseball monopoly
quashed that potential competition with a promise of a
Denver team.
The promise wasn't kept, of course, but there Denver
was, putting new stands on Bears Stadium in the belief that
baseball would soon arrive. Denver used to lead the minor
leagues in attendance every year. There were all these
promotions aimed at big turn-outs to impress the majors.
Now the majors say that they're not interested in Denver
unless it can provide a baseball-only stadium.
You mean the major leagues are playing a game with
Denver? There are powerful people who get their jollies by
seeing how high Denver will jump, or how low Denver will
stoop, to get a team?
Looks that way, doesn't it?
Ziegler chuckled.
Build a stadium, even when you already have one, and
I'll bet you the majors come up with some other insane
demand -- perhaps the gold off your capitol dome, or maybe
all your first-born children. Whatever it is, no matter how
stupid it is, Denver will try to comply.
Mere fans like to watch a shortstop stretch for a hot
one up the middle,
Ziegler concluded. But the true
connoisseurs of baseball like to watch Denver stretch for a
major-league team. Shortstops have limits, but there's no
limit to what Denver will do.
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