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The organizers in Nucla report that their first prairie-dog shoot was so successful that they plan to make it an annual event. Meanwhile, the denunciations continue, for many people fear that gleeful carnage gives Colorado a bad image, thus discouraging tourism and investment.
We should look to Mark Twain for an explanation of
what's really going on. Recall that young Tom Sawyer was
assigned a dreadful chore one summer morning when he wanted
to be sporting with his friends -- he had to whitewash
thirty yards of board fence nine feet high.
At first embarrassed when his friends stopped to mock, Tom had a great inspiration. He pretended that whitewashing the fence was an exciting honor awarded to a select few. Soon his friends were trading precious marbles and dead cats for the privilege of painting the fence for a few minutes.
The same process must have occurred in Nucla. Here was
an onerous chore -- reducing the rodent population in order
to improve grazing. But Nucla was too clever to promote it
that way. Instead, they announced a prairie-dog shooting
contest,
and suddenly, scores of people were willing to
drive hundreds of miles and then pay an entry fee.
My mom used a similar trick when she needed peeled potatoes. She'd grab a spud, and then produce a twisted strip of potato skin a foot long. She challenged us to make a longer strip of peel. My brothers and I were gifted and talented at avoiding all forms of work, especially kitchen work, but this seemed different, and we peeled with gusto.
There are many jobs which need to be done in this state, and this method could inspire us all to pay and enjoy ourselves while getting those jobs done:
· Wonder what to do with spoiled produce -- the peck of cherries you forgot about, the bushel of tomatoes you never got around to canning, or the garage of zucchini? Then enter the La Junta World Championship Vegetable Casting Contest. Test the accuracy of your arm against world-class competition, as you and hundreds of other frustrated Nolan Ryans propel rotten produce toward celebrity judges, who have been placed in puritan-style stocks to aid them in maintaining their concentration. This year's judges are Neil Bush, Ken Good and Bill Walters.
· Are you a man or a wimp? Find out at the First Annual Rocky Flats Great Plutonium Hunt. The organizers have hidden 66 pounds of plutonium somewhere inside. As you elbow aside other eager contestants, you will gather bits and pieces of the precious metal while you crawl through ventilation ducts. The organizers have promised a substantial prize to the winner's heirs.
· Every mining camp has an annual drilling
contest, but the blasting experts -- the experienced miners
who can blow out a tooth filling without giving you a
headache -- never get a chance to show their stuff. Their
day in the sun comes at the Colorado Dynamite Festival.
Potential sites of these dynamite demolition derbies
include Windy Gap Reservoir near Granby, AWDI pumps and
pipelines in the San Luis Valley, Colorado Springs dams at
Elephant Rock on the Arkansas, Aurora diversions in the
Holy Cross Wilderness Area and Denver's East Gore Collector
Canal.
There's a lot to do to make this state a better place to live, and if it's going to get done, we've got to find a way to enjoy doing it.
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