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Last week, Josie Heath made some allegations about Hank
Brown's campaign financing. Brown replied that her letter
was cute.
That word is apparently on the
International Sensitivity Commission's List of Proscribed
Words and Phrases, because Heath made a bitter reply. The
gist of it was that because she's a woman, Brown's use of
cute
was a sexist and patronizing way to dismiss a
serious issue.
This sort of dialogue between the candidates promises an interesting campaign, one that might work this way:
Brown suggests that we address important issues like
inflation and oil supplies, and put the Implied Sexist
Terminology Issue on the back burner.
Brown's reference to
Heath
responds, back burner,
is a patriarchal and demeaning implication
that he believes that women are supposed to remain in the
kitchen. We and the enlightened voters of Colorado
emphatically reject those antiquated beliefs. Let us
instead address the influence of millionaire Larry Mizel
and his S&L cronies -- let's see what he says about
that can of worms.
At first Brown wants to apologize for the back burner
reference; it was, after all, just a common phrase that
didn't appear to have such deep implications.
But then he realizes two can play that game. Heath
owes us all a clarification of her latest statement,
he
says. By using
can of worms,
is she questioning my
masculinity by insinuating that I am afraid to deal with
worms, that I might be too squeamish to handle a worm? Or
is she practicing the gender-role stereotyping that we're
all working so hard to avoid, by making the unwarranted and
bigoted assumption that as a male, it is my ordained role
to handle the worms? I suggest that we get back to the real
issues before Colorado and America.
That's just a smokescreen,
Heath charges.
Brown must make clear his relationship with various
PACs, and we need to find out if MDC Holdings has been
laundering excessive campaign contributions by funneling
them through subcontractors.
There you go again,
Brown responds. However, I
must confess that, perhaps on account of the traditional
time in which I was raised, I know less about
laundering
than she does. It wasn't my campaign that forgot to list a
donation from a left-wing Hollywood PAC. My campaign has
never taken money from a sexist PAC which finances only
male candidates, while hers has taken money from EMILY,
which finances only female candidates. For her to attack
PAC financing is like the pot calling the kettle
black.
That's racist,
Heath states. It implies
there's something wrong with being black. And his
pots and
kettles
are another kitchen reference which demonstrate
his desire to continue the enslavement of women.
Before Brown can respond, the election comes, and for
the first time in Colorado history, none of the
above
wins.
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