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The hamlet of Strasburg, N.D., has about 650 people, and it is getting $500,000 of federal largess. Lawrence Welk was born in a farmhouse near there on March 11, 1903, and the money will restore his birthplace into a tourist attraction.
This is a big, diverse country. So there probably are families who hold a conversation like this:
Honey, what should we do on our vacation this year?
Go mooch off some relatives that live in the mountains? See
what Yellowstone looks like after the big fire? Play
blackjack in Black Hawk?
Don't you remember when you were a kid, and you were
visiting your grandparents, and you were bored stiff, and
you got even more bored when Lawrence Welk came on? They
just spent your money and mine to restore his
birthplace.
Really? By all means, then, let's go to North Dakota
and spend several thousand dollars while we're there. That
sounds really exciting.
If there are such families, and if our bankrupt federal government is willing to spend money on celebrity birthplaces, then Colorado ought to get its share.
The only one I've noticed is deep in the San Luis Valley, where a billboard points to the modest house where Jack Dempsey, the Manassa Mauler, entered this world. After several hours of eyestrain before an almanac, I found a few other possibilities:
· Ken Kesey, Sept. 17, 1935, La Junta.
· Ken Curtis, July 2, 1916, Lamar.
· Ralph Edwards, June 13, 1913, Merino.
· Jaye P. Morgan, Dec. 3, 1931, Mancos.
· Denver Pyle, May 11, 1920, Bethune.
· Barbara Rush, Jan. 4, 1930, Denver.
· Jan-Michael Vincent, July 15, 1944, Denver.
The next challenge was figuring out why these Colorado natives are famous. Note that none of them attained celebrity for anything they did in Colorado; they had to leave in order to attain fame and fortune.
One was simple. Kesey wrote One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest. I consulted Martha about the others.
Don't hold me to any of this. I think Ken Curtis
played Festus on
Gunsmoke.
Jan-Michael Vincent appeared
in Barbarella,
and I think Barbara Rush had dark hair and
acted in
Peyton Place.
Wasn't Ralph Edwards a
newscaster?
I shrugged. She continued. Denver Pyle I've heard of,
but I can't say why. Jaye P. Morgan sounds like a
strip-teaser's stage name, or maybe a country-western
singer. Why don't you ask your three or four readers if
they know?
So, I'm asking. Think of the possibilities for tourism if we can set up nativity shrines in Mancos and Merino, and of the federal money available at $500,000 per birthplace. Colorado needs your help. Why are these people famous?
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