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Let them eat cake, and have it too

Published 9-Jan-1991 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1991 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

When I was a kid, adults always advised me that You can't have your cake and eat it, too. It finally dawned on me that they were probably right, but if I had just persisted in believing that I could keep the cake that I'd just eaten, I might have grown up to amount to something -- a congressman.

Usually, we get all our mass mailings from Rep. Joel Hefley in the early fall of even-numbered years. So it was a real surprise to get one of his newsletters when 22 months remain before the next election.

After passing a huge tax-raising budget package to satisfy its addictive spending habits, Hefley writes, Congress must go on a diet.... We don't need new taxes. Instead, we should roll back the unnecessary taxes imposed by the 101st Congress, enact a balanced budget amendment that will force Congress to live within its means, and give the President a line-item veto so he can put a check on wasteful, pork-barrel spending by Congress. Now that we know precisely where Hefley stands, what does he want to do this year?

Spend more money, of course. Repeal the Social Security Earnings Limit, he says. That increases Social Security pay-outs, and the money has to come from somewhere. But old people vote, and the working people who pay their way often don't. Hefley's understanding of re-election procedures is vastly greater than his understanding of fairness or economics.

Commit to COLAs. COLAs here are not soft drinks, but Cost of Living Adjustments -- that is, increased federal pensions. That's a curious way to save money.

Develop a National Energy Policy. He wants some research into solar, biomass, alternative fuels, etc. Good idea, but it's still a way to spend more tax money. And besides, Hefley's views are the exact opposite of the leader of his party, George Bush, whose energy policy is to go to war over oil wells.

Continue to fight the War on Drugs. Continue to shred the U.S. Constitution would be more accurate -- a big expense with no discernible benefit except to lawyers and bureaucrats.

Make a solid investment in SDI programs. If SDI research were based in some other congressional district, it would qualify as wasteful, pork-barrel spending. But Colorado Springs, Hefley's base, gets a lot of SDI money, so SDI is a solid investment.

Hefley wants to cut federal spending, but everything he says he wants to do in the coming year will require more federal spending. He doesn't mention a single program that should be cut.

If you want to eat your cake and have it, too, just get elected to Congress. Are they all this weird, or is it just a peculiarity of the Fifth District?


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