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How Japan and Germany could help

Published 13-Jan-1991 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1991 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Some people have criticized Japan and Germany for not doing enough to help in the War to Make the World Safe for Plutocracy.

Japan and Germany rely a lot more on imported oil than we do, but we're the ones with soldiers on the front line. They have robust economies, and we're paying most of the bills, despite our recession and federal deficits. They're supposed to be sending money and supplies, but little has arrived yet.

However, Japan and Germany could give us tremendous help on the propaganda front. Their ambassadors should go on Iraqi television:

Friends, we represent nations which unconditionally surrendered to the United States 46 years ago. Look at us today. We are strong, prosperous, educated countries with a prominent role in world affairs. That's what happens when you lose a modern war to the United States.

Now, consider what happens if you should win. Vietnam won, and even after 15 years, Vietnam is a poverty-stricken third-world nation with less influence on world affairs than Monaco exerts. Or even if you fight America to a draw -- look at North Korea, another impoverished backwater.

You are proud people who want to take your place in the world. So do the smart thing, and surrender immediately. The Americans will bankrupt themselves to provide your defense, and without the burden of supporting a huge army, your merchants and manufacturers will prosper as never before. You will be able to invest in education and transportation, instead of bombs.

Believe us. We've been there. Just surrender, and Iraq will quickly rise to glories unknown since the days when Nebuchadnezzar ruled in Babylon.

Babylon raises a question. Fundamentalist preachers used to speak often of the Whore of Babylon, in the Book of Revelation, who sat on a beast with seven heads. They always said that Babylon was a really a code word for Rome (an understandable interpretation, given Rev. 17:9, The seven heads are seven hills on which the woman sits.).

But now the same fundamentalist preachers are announcing that the Babylon of Revelation is, indeed, Babylon. How could it be Rome last year and Babylon this year?

Oh, well. We're going to war for oil, which isn't mentioned in Biblical prophecies of Armageddon. Where's Jim Johnson when we need him?

Johnson, a Republican, represented Colorado's fourth congressional district from 1973 to 1981. He once argued that, if the U.S. had to go to war with some country for oil, why not Mexico? Mexico has oil, military logistics are simple because Mexico is close by, and we have a successful track record in wars with Mexico.

When we invaded Mexico in 1846 on the flimsy pretense of protecting American citizens in Texas, we emerged with the gold of California, the silver of Colorado and the oil of Texas. Our history books generally call this Manifest Destiny, rather than naked aggression, and nobody, on this side of the Rio Grande anyway, says that President James Knox Polk was worse than Hitler.

Conquering a smaller neighbor worked out pretty well for America, and apparently, Saddam Hussein thinks it will work for him. But maybe the Japanese and Germans can talk him into losing.


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