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When will official English reach the CDE?

Published 21-Apr-1991 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1991 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

One reason to be glad that you are not a school administrator is that you don't have to deal directly with the Colorado Department of Education.

Last month, our school district received a report after a visit from something called a Partnership Assistance Review Team.

Among the team's recommendations was that The district is encouraged to develop alternative student success indicators that would provide the accountability committees with a more comprehensive set of data points. This information will be useful to the committees and school community in developing additional strategies to achieve the goals currently in place, particularly as it relates to closing any discrepancies that may exist among student sub-group populations in achievement.

What's an alternative student success indicator? Are they talking about alternative students, which presumably means drop-outs who have re-entered the system at an alternative high school jointly operated by Salida and Buena Vista? Or some alternative way of indicating student success -- in that case, why are the traditional report cards inadequate?

English has been the Official Language of Colorado for two years, but apparently that news has yet to reach the Department of Education, which prefers a dialect known as Educanto. The term comes from Richard Mitchell, the Underground Grammarian, who has noted certain characteristics of Educanto.

Educanto speakers prefer the passive voice, as with The district is encouraged . . . rather than the active, We encourage the district . . . The passive doesn't say who's doing the encouraging, and thus provides an easy way to avoid responsibility. Recall during the 1988 presidential debates, when George Bush said Mistakes were made in the Iran-Contra affair. He could thereby avoid saying who made the mistakes.

Educanto speakers also enjoy jamming nouns together, as with student sub-group populations and alternative student success indicators.

In such constructions, you have to guess what is modifying what, and so you don't know whether they're really talking about alternative students or alternative indicators. If the district guesses wrong, it will be in trouble with the state at accreditation time.

Even more disturbing were some of the understandable parts of the report. The district is not in compliance with current accreditation requirements, because Student achievement results were not separated by race/ethnicity and gender when used to develop the school improvement plan.

Gender is a grammatical term, not a biological term. Words have genders. People come in sexes.

Even South Africa is getting rid of its racial identity cards. But in Colorado, the Department of Education is telling school districts to classify students by race/ethnicity and to keep score accordingly. What happened to the quaint notion that our Constitution is color blind?

Some of our legislators have been trying to mandate the teaching of the Federalist Papers and the Constitution in the public schools. That can wait until the state orders its own Department of Education to halt the process of racial classification, and to start using English.


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