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Equal-opportunity servitude

Published 5-May-1991 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1991 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Tax Freedom Day came on May 2 in Colorado, but for the average American, that happy day does not occur until May 8.

Everything you earn after Tax Freedom Day is yours, so that you can pay your creditors. What you earn before Tax Freedom Day goes to some government or another: The local pothole-repair crew that drinks coffee all day, the Colorado Department of Education to enforce quotas, the federal government so that there is $27,000 available for J. Danforth Quayle's golfing excursion to Atlanta.

(To be fair, let us hear from Quayle's official spokesman, David Beckwith. The vice president works hard, and he deserves to be able to accept an invitation to play golf once in a while. . . . It is another media cheap shot about Dan Quayle. To be thorough, let it be known that the J. in J. Danforth Quayle stands for James. To be curious, why does he prefer Dan Quayle to Jim Quayle when he's trying to be a regular guy instead of a rich kid who made it big?)

At any rate, the average American is deprived of the fruits of his labor for 127 days of each year. It is fair to assume that most people will work for about 45 years, from age 20 to 65. So that's 127 days from each of 45 years, which works out to 5,175 days, or 15.6 years.

Until you're 20 or so, you're being told what to do all the time. If it's not parents, it's teachers or gang leaders giving the orders. It could be a college dean telling you not to make an inappropriate finger gesture when some enlightened person told you not to say fat but temporarily cellulite advantaged.

Then you escape that by going out on your own and getting a job. If you start working at age 20, then until you are 35.6 years old, you get nothing for your work -- taxes take it all. If you are forced to work without pay, or you must heed orders on penalty of starvation or imprisonment, then you must be in a condition known as slavery or involuntary servitude.

Those conditions now exist for 35.6 years of the average American's life. Back when slave markets operated openly in this country, the average life-expectancy of a slave was about 30 years. (That is a guess. The oldest data I could find were from 1900, when a black child's life-expectancy at birth was 33.8 years. Conditions must have been worse a half-century earlier and 30 seems a reasonable estimate.)

So in 1850, when slavery was legal, the average time that a slave spent in servitude was 30 years. Then came the bloodiest war in American history -- the Civil War, which resulted in more casualties than all other American wars put together. At that tremendous cost, slavery was eliminated from our soil.

But in the enlightened year of 1991, the time the average American spends in servitude is 35.6 years, and this covers 100 percent of the labor force. In 1850, slavery lasted only 30 years, and affected only 24 percent of the labor force.

This may be progress, since we now have equal-opportunity indenture that affects everyone, regardless of race, creed, color or national origin.

But I can't escape the suspicion that Simon Legree went into government after he lost his plantation.


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