< PREVIOUS ]   [ 1991 Index ]   [ Ed Quillen HOME ]   [ SEARCH ]   [ NEXT >


Childhood traumas of the rich and famous

Published 26-Jun-1991 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1991 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Recently, a girl wanted to go on a Cub Scout outing with her brothers. Scouting officials said no, and her parents sued. They engaged an expert who said the girl would suffer permanent and irreparable psychological damage because her brothers got to do something she didn't.

Another silly childhood trauma appears often in letters to Ann Landers: I would like to ask physical education teachers if they are aware of the damage they do to a child when they have student captains chose team members in gym class. . . . To be the one left standing, the one that no one wanted, left me scarred emotionally.

At first, such whining seems preposterous. You can believe that children represent the culmination of 4.5 billion years of tooth-and-claw survival-of-the-fittest evolution. Or that Adam was created in God's own image. In either case, humans ought to be tough enough to surmount the minor misfortunes of childhood.

But perhaps we're not really made of such stern stuff. If that is so, then we have explanations for what once seemed mysterious:

Little Johnny raced out the door, scarf and mittens flying as he struggled through the deep New Hampshire snow. His haste was to no avail; when he got to the road, he saw the school bus disappearing in the distance.

It was the seventh time he had missed the bus that winter. As he walked through the bitter cold to school, Little Johnny's anger grew. I'm the smartest kid in the world, he thought. And they won't even have the bus wait for me. Hell, they should send a limousine for me.

The traumatized little boy grew up to be John Sununu.There was Little Dick, who chopped down a lemon tree behind the family house in Whittier, Calif. Who cut down that tree? asked his stern father.

Mindful of what he had learned about George Washington in school that day, Little Dick freely confessed. Whereupon his father grabbed a razor strop and whaled on Dick.

Permanently traumatized thereby, Richard Nixon suffered pangs whenever he told the truth, so he never did.

Like a trauma, a childhood triumphs can also permanently warp a personality. Little George was never personally attacked by the bullies that infested his prep school. But one day, the richest kid in the class was assaulted by a bully and had to run off.

This cannot stand, George said, and he rounded up a bunch of other rich kids. They hired some muscle to pummel the first bully, who retreated and went back to his old ways of picking on poor kids who didn't go to prep school.

George Bush was a hero at school for almost a week.

Obviously, with proper treatment from childhood disturbance specialists, all these afflicted boys might have grown up to be normal. Now that we're aware of these potential problems, the future looks brighter than ever.


< PREVIOUS ]   [ 1991 Index ]   [ Ed Quillen HOME ]   [ SEARCH ]   [ NEXT >