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It's only rock 'n' roll

Published 1-Sep-1991 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1991 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

No respectable American commentator will state the real reason that the Soviet coup failed. They talk tediously about the bureaucratic ineptitude of the plotters, or how glasnost had gained surprising support.

They never mention the power that actually smashed the Communist Party and the KGB. The most potent force on earth is not our military or CIA, but low-life American culture: fast food, blue jeans, T-shirts and rock 'n' roll.

Consider recent history. America sent bombs, tanks and soldiers to Panama in 1989. Did any of those deliver Manuel Noriega into American hands?

Of course not. But he surrendered quickly when American soldiers surrounded his embassy hide-out and fired up their heavy weapons -- big boom boxes discharging rock 'n' roll.

Note the cultural force that triumphed in eastern Europe: Frank Zappa, leader of the Mothers of Invention, was the first state guest when Vaclav Havel, a fan, became president of Czechoslovakia after the velvet revolution.

Look at the Gulf War. The Saudis didn't care how many soldiers, warplanes or tanks we put on their soil. They knew mere armaments couldn't change their feudal theocracy. But they took extreme steps to keep their society from being exposed to American culture, such as rock 'n' roll with its messages of egalitarianism, substance abuse and distrust of authority.

They had to keep that subversive contagion confined to American quarters, or else women would start driving cars and baring arms.

Now observe the victors in Moscow. Penelope Purdy has been there, and last week she described the triumphant element of Soviet society as Big-Mac-eating, Pepsi-drinking, Levi-wearing, CNN-watching rock 'n' roll fans.

In discussing coup developments, Artemy Troitsky, head of Russian television, announced that Within a half hour, I received a faxed message directly from Mick [Jagger], and there is serious talk that the first big post-coup celebration will be a Rolling Stones concert in Moscow.

Predicting the future of Soviet society, Ilya Reznikov, the student council president at the Russian State University for the Humanities, said It will be a healthy society with healthy youth. We will smoke marijuana, make money. We'll have hippies and Yuppies -- just like the rest of the world.

Granted, he'd be a criminal in this country, not a hero, since official America is ashamed of our true power base: pot-smoking hippies listening to rock 'n' roll while they munch Big Macs and swill Pepsi-Cola.

During my youth, we were often warned that rock 'n' roll was a Communist conspiracy designed to destroy America. As it turned out, rock 'n' roll is what destroyed the Communist conspirators.

Doubtless at this moment, in Iran, China, Cuba or some other nation run by a repressive totalitarian regime, there are pot-smoking louts in T-shirts and blue jeans. They're fooling around with beat-up guitars, a battered piano and makeshift drums. They've practiced for two hours, 90 minutes longer than it takes to master Louie, Louie, and they've just figured out most of Johnny B. Goode.

This is fun, one of them says. From that moment, the totalitarian regime is doomed.


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