< PREVIOUS ]   [ 1991 Index ]   [ Ed Quillen HOME ]   [ SEARCH ]   [ NEXT >


Schools send the wrong permission slips

Published 29-Sep-1991 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1991 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Oct. 7, the Colorado Supreme Court will convene in Salida, where high-school students will get to watch the proceedings and hear the oral arguments.

This seems educational and wholesome -- it's not as though the students will be exposed to lobbyists or state legislators -- but apparently not everyone is expected to agree. For my 16-year-old daughter Columbine to observe justice in action, I had to sign this note:

I understand that my son or daughter, _____________, will be studying about a case that involves the subject of 'massage' and 'massage parlor.' I give my permission that he or she may study a case of such a nature both in the classroom, before the actual oral argument, and during the actual Supreme Court session.

Bill Alderton called me. He has a son in the same grade, and he's the county judge. What is this, needing parental permission for students to study and watch a court hearing? How can we ever hope that our kids will get an education if the public schools are so gutless that, whenever there's a chance that kids might be exposed to a real issue, the schools feel compelled to ask parental permission, just in case somebody might be offended.

He has a point. Then I talked to Martha. Ed, you always argue for parental empowerment. I think it's a good idea to warn parents that their kids might be talking about massage parlors in their civics class. There are good parents who could find that offensive, and they ought to have some say about what their children are exposed to.

She has a point, too. The real problem is that the schools do offensive things all the time without asking your consent. I'd love to get permission slips like these:

Tomorrow, your child will bring home a student handbook which starts with the solecism 'One criteria ...' Do you give permission to have your child educated by people who don't know singular from plural?

From time to time, your child will be presented with drug-education awareness programs which purport to impart 'holistic refusal skills,' but which do not in fact teach anything substantive. Do you wish to have your child waste valuable classroom time in this foolish charade, time that might otherwise be devoted to grammar and arithmetic, or do you wish to have your child treated as a pariah?

This year, your child will study American history from the Standard Eastern Seaboard Perspective: modern America resulted from the westward spread of Bostonians, who provided the only cultural influence worthy of study. We will ignore the Spanish settlement of the Southwest, exclude the corruption of the Gilded Age, omit the American war against Filipino independence ...

But that never happens. The schools figure that nobody will be offended by stupidity, waste or propaganda, and so they never ask your permission to expose your impressionable child to those things. They do worry that somebody might find be offended if S-E-X should come up. Then there is a blizzard of permission slips.

If it were only the other way around, if large and vocal groups of parents showed up every time their children were exposed to mediocrity and incompetence, then we probably wouldn't be reading about declines in SAT scores and the decay of public schools.


< PREVIOUS ]   [ 1991 Index ]   [ Ed Quillen HOME ]   [ SEARCH ]   [ NEXT >