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Curious about what will happen in 1992, I called my favorite inside source, Ananias Ziegler, media relations director for the Committee That Really Runs America.
The re-election of George Bush is an absolute
priority,
he began. For the past 11 years, ever since
Ronald Reagan discovered that budget deficits were not
necessarily evil, we've been doing quite well.
I thought you were fiscal conservatives,
I
said.
That's just talk for the proletarian rabble. They're
the ones who pay the interest on the deficit, and that
interest goes to the Committee -- we're the people who hold
T-bills. We don't want that to change.
But Bush has been slipping in the polls,
I
said.
We're concerned. Guess what's going to happen if Pat
Buchanan gets more than 20 percent in New
Hampshire.
Another war?
I asked. So far, every time Bush
has slipped in the polls, he's sent out troops -- Just
Cause in Panama, Desert Storm in the Middle East.
You got it,
he said. Americans support the
commander-in-chief in wartime, and since conservatives love
military action, it protects the President's right
flank.
But Buchanan opposed the Gulf War,
I pointed out.
He's running an 'America First' campaign.
We've anticipated that by picking the ideal spot for
an invasion.
Where? Iraq won't work again. In Libya, Qaddafi has
been behaving himself lately. Yugoslavia is too confusing,
and we're running out of Central American
countries.
Consider Los Angeles. The logistics are easy: Marines
at Pendleton, ships at San Diego, bombers at Edwards,
etc.
How are you going to explain it, though?
I
wondered.
Los Angeles been invaded by thousands of illegal
immigrants who threaten American interests,
he said.
Further, much of its commercial property is owned by the
Japanese, who also own most of Hollywood.
Operation Sunset Storm will be a political master
stroke,
Ziegler continued. It will placate the
Japan-bashers, and demonstrate the President's resolution
to stop the invasion by illegal immigrants. Since it will
be conducted entirely on American soil, the President will
thereby have a domestic policy, and we'll also shut up Pat
Buchanan. I mean, how can you be more 'America First' than
to launch a war right here in the good ol' USA?
I conceded his logic, but said Operation Sunset Storm was still preposterous.
It'll work,
he predicted. We're on a roll here
after our recent major success -- the Oliver Stone film
'JFK'.
Why would the Committee That Really Runs America, of
all people, want to cast doubt on the Warren
Commission?
Think, Quillen, think,
Ziegler said. Thanks to
the way 'JFK' exalts Jim Garrison's lunatic speculations,
the movie actually makes conspiracy theorists look like
fools. Thus people will discredit the conspiracy theories,
and so the general public goes back to believing the Warren
Report. And nobody ever suspects the Committee.
You're right,
I conceded. The only thing
harder to believe than the Warren Report is the 'JFK'
scenario.
Ziegler laughed. Just wait till you hear the
President explaining why we must invade Los
Angeles.
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