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If you were ever tempted to trust our state government, you can cure yourself of this form of lunacy by attending meetings of your local school board, especially around budget time.
As half of the unofficial and self-appointed Salida School Board Monitoring Commission, I have seen many such meetings. Discussions go like this:
Six months ago, the state promised us $2 million for
this year, so I started working on next year's
budget.
But didn't I read that they're cutting that?
Right. Last month they said we'd only get $1.8
million, but that was firm, so we started negotiations with
the teachers' union. We worked out a 2 percent
raise.
So why are they complaining now?
Their share of health insurance went up 22 percent,
which will eat up their raise and a lot more, and they're
also mad because we cut the budget for classroom materials
from $500 to $6.50. They may bring in the CEA.
That won't happen. The only time the CEA ever acts is
when a teacher might be fired for sexual abuse or
incompetence. Then they're right here with a high-powered
lawyer. But otherwise, the CEA won't do anything.
Suppose so. But we've still got a budget
problem.
You said the $1.8 million of state money was
firm.
That's what they told me then.
Is this the first time they've lied to you?
No. But this time it was in writing. Anyway, last
week they said the legislature still hasn't figured out a
new funding formula, so the most we can count on is about
$15.84, although there's a chance we'll get the rest of the
$1.8 million, providing that Sam Walton's will makes the
Colorado Department of Education its sole
beneficiary.
Fat chance. You mean we're going to be $1.8 million
short? That's about half our budget. What are we supposed
to do? Close the schools?
We've still got some money in the transportation
fund. Maybe we could put all our students on buses, and
send them down to the state capitol. The legislature never
listens to us, but maybe they'd pay attention if we just
dumped all the kids on them, and left them there until the
legislature kept its promise and gave us enough money to
run the schools.
We'd run into some legal problems with that.
Why? Couldn't we call it a field trip?
If we forced impressionable children to hang around
the Colorado General Assembly, we'd be found guilty of
corrupting the morals of minors, and we'd have no defense
whatsoever. Any other ideas?
So it goes at many meetings. Our state government makes promises and doesn't keep them. That may complicate life for local school boards struggling with a budget, but on the other hand, it provides affordable entertainment for those of us who watch the meetings.
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