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Certain high-minded people, those who apparently believe heredity is destiny and that no one is capable of transcending a personal conformation of plumbing and skin color, have criticized the Democratic ticket this year: two college-educated white guys in their forties, which also covers the sitting vice-president.
Since this minority group (only 1.98 percent of the population) appears to be gaining some influence in national affairs, it is important that we understand them. And because I'm in that group, I hold a personal interest in dispelling some of the pernicious myths which have sprung up about the emergent CEWG40 minority.
1. They never ask directions. Pick up any women's magazine, and there are always jokes that CEWG40's are too arrogant to stop and ask directions when traveling.
This vicious canard may have arisen because men traveling with their families are reluctant to stop for any reason. The moment you halt anywhere, your children demand candy and pop at captive prices, and they decamp for extended periods in the restroom or at the video games. Your budget and your schedule are blown. CEWG40's take budgets and schedules quite seriously.
Speaking personally, I probably lack that spatial-orientation gene they just discovered at CU. I have been lost in hamlets like Parshall and Westcliffe. I often ask directions, even though I seldom understand them.
And when I'm traveling with other CEWG40's in a strange town, we've always been willing to ask how to find the nearest discount liquor store, junk yard, biker bar, Mexican restaurant or other desirable destination. Despite what you read or hear, CEWG40's do ask directions.
2. CEWG40's drive everyone else to distraction by using the TV remote control incessantly to click from channel to channel. True, our TV will light up and then flit from Geraldo to Oprah to Donahue to Geraldo. But that is because our dog (note the canine taste) found the remote control. I've never used the remote; I don't even want to touch the slimy, tooth-pocked dog toy.
And when I watch TV at another CEWG40's home, it's always something special, like a ball game. The set stays on the same channel, unless their dog has found the remote. CEWG40's are getting unfairly blame for what their pets do.
3. CEWG40's nobly claim to do their 50-percent share of the housework, but really don't.
With my own eyes, I have seen CEWG40's scrub toilets, fold laundry and mop kitchen floors. Further, I have seen them hold down hammocks to make sure they don't blow away in an evening breeze, zealously guard Lazy Boy recliners against theft and carefully deposit empty aluminum beer cans into the proper recycling bin.
So it's doubtless true that most CEWG40's don't do half the housework. It's just that I've never heard one claim that he did. Who fabricated that myth?
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