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This election isn't about values, either

Published 23-Aug-1992 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1992 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Four years ago, Michael Dukakis said this election is about competence, not ideology. He was as wrong as the Republicans this year, who seem to be saying this election is about values -- our straitlaced traditional family values versus the other side's loose-living pluralistic hedonism.

Values are more than important, but they are what we live by, not what we vote by. Here are some values I cherish:

1. Don't put up with crap unless there's good money in it. Our economic system turns all of us into whores; the challenge is to avoid becoming a cheap whore.

2. Make sure I have ample time for reading, loafing, hanging out with family, friends, etc., even if that comes at a major economic or career cost.

3. Exert minimal effort on the common daily routines of shaving, dressing to impress, commuting, etc.

4. Question all assumptions.

But who'd want a representative, senator or president who shared such values?

We'd have an official who refused to compromise on any issue unless suitably bribed, who put the absolute minimum into the job so he'd have more time for personal pursuits, who flouted most social conventions and was a public embarrassment, who argued constantly about everything from the need for government at all to the merits of various renditions of Smokestack Lightning.

I'd never vote for anyone who shared those values. I want my officials to be willing to make reasonable compromises, to work hard on the business of government, to make a good impression on those they must deal with, and to believe in, not question, the system we trust them to operate.

I suspect that if you listed your values, they would likewise produce a singularly ineffective politician.

Further, values have never mattered in a presidential election. Thomas Jefferson won twice despite smears about his free-thinking humanism and alleged affairs with Sally Hemings and Maria Cosway. Andrew Jackson, the uncouth bigamist and winner of several pistol duels, trounced the refined John Quincy Adams. A century ago, Grover Cleveland, acknowledged father of a bastard, defeated Benjamin Harrison.

As recently as 1980 we saw a divorced man from decadent cultural-elite Hollywood overwhelm a Baptist Sunday-school teacher service-academy graduate from Bible Belt Georgia.

So if the election isn't about values, what is it about? Mostly money, of course, since this is America. But Bush can't push that -- Clinton would give a new meaning to landslide victory if he got the votes of all of us who are worse off than they were four years ago.

And if you want to attach another issue, then it's also about age.

Clinton is a baby-boomer who had to face the prospect of getting shipped 8,000 miles to fight in a sordid, stupid war. Bush is the last hurrah for the we came through the Depression and we won World War II, so we're entitled to squander the national heritage on one big party and leave somebody else to pay the bills and clean up the mess crowd.

Like most baby-boomers, I find it difficult to believe that anyone of my approximate age could actually hold a responsible position. But I'm getting damn tired of being bossed around by snoopy, grasping old men.


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