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The more Matt Noahs, the better

Published 4-Oct-1992 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1992 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

When I owned a newspaper 15 years ago, I had to contend with campaign advertising. So I asked a veteran publisher, who gave me this useful advice: Be sure to get cash up front from Democrats. But you can extend credit to Republicans. They always pay their bills.

Protected by the First Amendment, I could set my own policies for political advertising. But TV stations aren't so fortunate. Under current campaign laws, if a candidate walks in with money and a campaign ad, they are required to run the ad, exactly the way the candidate wants it.

The idea was to enrich political debate by insuring that the candidates, rather than any cultural elite, could define the terms of the election.

This also means that TV stations are forced to run the gory fetus photos in the air time purchased by the senate campaign of Matt Noah, who has no more chance of getting elected than Ross Perot does. Noah has also threatened to produce ads which feature the names and faces of people who work in abortion clinics.

Many have criticized Matt Noah. They point out that his ads are shock and slogans, not serious attempts to address an issue -- but that is true of all political ads. Or that if Noah were serious in his cause, he'd put his energy into supporting Terry Considine, who is just as anti-abortion, and also has a prayer of election, since he is the candidate of a major party.

But the critics are wrong. We'd be better off if there were Matt Noahs from all the minor parties.

· We see a chicken processing plant in Hamlet, N.C., about a year ago. The camera moves inside, where it's noisy and hurried, a sweatshop. Fire breaks out. Workers rush for the doors -- which are locked. We watch gruesome death agonies as suffocating workers claw in vain. Then the voice-over. These charred corpses were good hard-working Americans. They died for capitalist greed. Isn't it time that capitalist greed died for you? Vote Socialist Worker on Nov. 3.

· Gory traffic accidents caused by drunken drivers. Tearful interviews with the innocent survivors of families destroyed by the carnage. Drunken fathers beating children, drunken mothers slouching on the couch as their children die in bathtubs. Had enough? Vote Prohibition.

· A sequence of mug shots, which proceeds slowly so that there's plenty of time to read the name and home address below each picture. As the faces go by, the voice explains: These men all lie about who they are and what they do. The truth is that they prey on American citizens who exercise the 'pursuit of happiness,' an unalienable right proclaimed by the Declaration of Independence. These dedicated opponents of our sacred American liberties are undercover agents of the Drug Enforcement Administration. There are many ways to take them out of action. Do it the non-violent way, and vote Libertarian.

Assuming that the First Amendment would not succumb to the clamor of reformers after such an exercise, then one of two things would happen if there were more Matt Noahs.

1. Our political debate be enlivened. Meanwhile, workplaces would be made safer, distillers would promote mass transit, and undercover snoops would find new work.

2. People would get so disgusted by TV that they would take up reading, hiking, board games, etc. Families would be closer and the population would be smarter and healthier.

Either outcome would greatly improve our society. So here's hoping that Matt Noah starts a trend.


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