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The peculiar political and social climate of Colorado Springs never came to my attention until early 1969, when I visited some high-school friends who went to college there. I picked up that day's Gazette-Telegraph, wherein its local columnist advised that people who sleep in the nude were almost certainly of the Communist persuasion.
That was just a start on weird. One friend showed me his collection of recent clippings. Dick Gregory had just spoken at Colorado College. This inspired acres of local commentary, almost all to the effect that if there wasn't a law against allowing black comedians to speak, there should be, no matter what you might read in that bleeding-heart pinko Bill of Rights.
More recently, the preposterous blots on our state constitution -- i.e., Amendment 2 and Official English -- has emanated from Colorado Springs. It's one thing if Colorado Springs requires English and refuses to protect homosexuals from discrimination; it's quite another if that city insists on inflicting its bizarre standards on the rest of us.
This will probably get worse. If present population trends continue, then in about 2010 (only 18 years), Colorado Springs will pass Denver to become the largest city in the state.
We must fight fire with fire, and pass some new amendments to the state constitution:
· No Special Rights. The Springs has become the international headquarters for all manner of fundamentalist religious outfits, who get special, preferred treatment under our current laws. This amendment would eliminate their tax exemptions. It is a wholesome American idea that should past muster in the Springs, since it was once proposed by President Ulysses S. Grant, a man of impeccable military credentials.
· Son of Poundstone. The original Poundstone Amendment effectively stopped Denver from annexing, and so Denver's power and influence have declined considerably since its adoption in 1974. Colorado Springs has swollen from 63 square miles in 1970 to 181 in 1990; obviously, it also needs a straitjacket.
· Secession. West Virginia did it, so it must be
constitutional. The rest of the state could just secede
from El Paso County. They can call themselves
Colorado
and use the current state constitution.
We'll be Outer Colorado
-- a state without an
official language, a state where home-rule cities can
practice home rule.
There are obvious political benefits in eliminating the
El Paso Crazies
from our General Assembly, and if
the Springs were in a different state, it would be far
easier to stop its water raids in the hinterlands.
I hate to take this step, because the Springs has some wonderful things -- its public-radio station, the Acacia Park area, the Fine Arts Center.
But it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make if it means that Outer Colorado can regain its traditional values of live-and-let-live.
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