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Like most new movies that people are talking about,
Indecent Proposal
will not appear for some time at
the Unique Theater in historic downtown Salida. (Among the
many lies in TV advertising, opens Friday at theaters
everywhere
may be the most galling.)
But I gather that the plot of Indecent Proposal
is based on an old George Bernard Shaw joke:
Would you sleep with me for $1 million?
Of course.
Will you sleep with me for $10?
Of course not. What do you think I am?
We've already established that. Now we're just
haggling about the price.
The plot may go deeper, into the 15th-century legend of
Johann Fastus, the German scholar who cut a deal with
Mephistopheles. Faustus got seven years of unlimited
knowledge, the Devil got his soul, and generations of
humanities students got to write a short essay comparing
and contrasting
the original Faustbuch, Christopher
Marlowe's Tragicall History of D. Faustus,
Goethe's
Faust
and Thomas Mann's Doktor Faustus.
Anyway, it makes you wonder if various current events might be explained by other Indecent Proposals:
Senator Dole, would you like to be the leading
Republican in America?
Of course.
Okay, we'll arrange for your party to lose the
presidential election. Then we'll put you in charge of
leading the congressional opposition.
You mean I'll be able to present programs of my
own?
No, you'll just be obstructing for the sake of
obstructing, and after your six months of such negative
posturing, you'll be seen, not as a leader, but as just a
grouch who's got nothing to offer.
But, wait, that wasn't....
Tough. A deal's a deal.
Or in a grove of academe:
Instructor, would you like tenure, publication and
scholarly conferences?
Certainly.
Then deconstruct Nancy Drew novels, examining them
for latent sapphic relationships, subliminal feminist
empowerment and gender symbolism. You'll get an endowed
chair and you'll speak at the University of Iowa.
No, no, never. Taking that seriously -- it would
deprive millions of young people of innocent pleasure.
Their parents would start learned discussions about what
should be simple entertainment, and kids would give up
reading because it wouldn't be fun any more.
Sorry, professor, but you agreed. Nancy Drew will
never again be simple fun.
Similar Indecent Proposals might explain how Bill Clinton changed his mind about Haitians, why those cross-country skiers worked so hard to get lost near Aspen, and State Sen. Bob Shaffer's 15 minutes of fame.
You just wonder if Mephistopheles is always as charming as Robert Redford.
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