< PREVIOUS ] [ 1993 Index ] [ Ed Quillen HOME ] [ SEARCH ] [ NEXT >
Technology marches forward. First TCI, the cable monopoly here and in many other captive markets, announces a fiber-optic delivery system for 500 channels. Then comes a joint venture between U.S. West and Time-Warner which could offer video on demand as well as gigabyte torrents of data.
So the oft-predicted eventual marriage of computer, television and telephone has apparently reached the courtship stage -- they're at least talking to each other, although further intimacy hasn't proceeded past light petting.
Though the technology will be complex, it's easy to predict how this work from the consumer standpoint:
Honey, don't forget that we've invited some people
over tonight to watch Dr. Strangelove. Did you order the
movie for 9:30 delivery?
Their line's been busy for a solid week, and when I
do get through, I get cut off before I can order
anything.
Let me try.
Miraculously, it gets through. You have reached the
Uswestimewarnertci video entertainment order processing
facilitization system. If you are calling from a rotary
phone, hang up now because we won't do business with people
we'd have to talk to. Now enter your requested delivery
time in military format.
Hmm, 9:30 would be, 12 plus 9 is 21.
Punches
2130.
And now the desired delivery date in YYYYMMDD
form.
Punches the numbers.
You want your film at 2130 hours on 1998 May 25.
Press pound sign if correct, any other to enter new date
and time.
Presses pound sign.
Thank you. Now please spell out the film title. Use 7
for Q and 9 for Z.
DR STRANGELOVE
Sorry, but we have no DR STRANGELOVE. Please try
again.
DOCTOR STRANGELOVE
Thank you. Your checking account has been
automatically debited $27.38 at this moment.
But at 9:30, as the guests are gathered expectantly, nothing appears on the anointed channel. Call the service department. After 14 tries, a human voice answers and hears the problem.
That sounds like a problem in your controller
software.
Click.
Call the software company. Definitely a hardware
interrupt conflict. Call your HDTV manufacturer.
Another call. It's the cable between the optical
converter and the decoder. Try swapping that out.
And so, as this household deals with a system that
combines the sympathy of the old phone company with the
accessibility of the computer industry and the altruism of
the cable industry, we mercifully draw the curtain here.
You can catch the rest on Divorce Court.
< PREVIOUS ] [ 1993 Index ] [ Ed Quillen HOME ] [ SEARCH ] [ NEXT >