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Having it both ways

Published 11-Jul-1993 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1993 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Some years had passed since I'd talked to Dr. Factor Fixx, a senior fellow at the Institute for Numerical Chicanery. However, rumor had it that he was doing some work for the television industry, and that's a hot topic.

Actually, we're working on two television-related projects, he explained. The first one demonstrates the effectiveness of television exposure, and the second demonstrates the minimal effects of television exposure.

Nice work if you can get it. So, how effective is TV exposure?

Extremely. Look at it this way. Pepsi-Cola spent $6.8 million for four minutes during the 1993 Superbowl.

That's not exactly chump change.

The rest is difficult to figure, he conceded. The cost of ingredients and the like are apparently a closely held industry secret. But if you check at the grocery store, a six-pack of generic soda goes for 99 cents, and the cheapest I've ever seen Pepsi is $1.29. That 30-cent difference, 5 cents a can, must represent the Pepsi edge.

Sounded reasonable to me.

Given that, then four minutes of TV time at $1.7 million per minute must translate into increased sales of at least 136 million cans, or else Pepsi would go bankrupt, he said.

That seemed logical, and I did a little calculating of my own. TV exposure is so powerful that just one second of it will sell at least 560,000 cans of flavored sweet water with no known nutritional value.

Precisely, Dr. Fixx agreed. Similarly, one second will sell about 400,000 cans of beer, 2,800 pairs of running shoes, or 57 cars. That's the awesome influence of TV exposure.

Impressed, I asked about the second study, which demonstrates that TV has no effect whatsoever on the viewer.

As you know, the do-gooders are trying to get the networks to cut down on violent programming with the specious argument that seeing murders, rapes and mayhem on the tube might influence people's behavior.

I had read of that, but before I could mention voluntary ratings, he went on.

The average American watches TV for almost three hours a day, he said. During each of those three hours, on average, there are 11.2 pistol murders, 2.7 rifle murders, 4.3 fatal stabbings or slashings, 1.8 lethal bludgeonings with a blunt instrument, 0.4 successful poisonings, and 2,147.9 serious automobile wrecks.

I questioned his numbers, since the wreck figure seemed low, and he said they weren't firm, but were close enough for his purposes.

Now, if Americans actually emulated what they saw on TV, then we'd have 20.4 murders per hour, or 179,000 murders each year. However, there were only 24,700 murders last year. That's just 13 per cent of what you'd expect if life imitated art -- or death imitated programming, whichever you prefer -- and thus there is absolutely no correlation.

Given that, there's no reason to suspect that watching television has any influence upon people's actions.

His second analysis impressed me, but it appeared to conflict with his earlier conclusion that TV exposure was indeed worth the millions that it costs because it so powerfully affected people's behavior. I mentioned that, and then asked who had paid for the contradictory studies.

The first was financed by the Network Advertising Sales Department to demonstrate the power of their product, he answered, and the money for the second came from the Network Programming Division to demonstrate why no one needs to be concerned about violence on TV.

So the same company paid for both studies. When will they be released?

This fall in a prime-time docu-drama called 'Having it Both Ways,' he said. And if you'll excuse me, I've got to attend to some work for the Republican Senate Committee, proving how federal health insurance would be bad for the country, even if it's good for them.


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