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Yet another assassination theory

Published 21-Nov-1993 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1993 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

After years of research and investigation, it's obvious that no one knows whether Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, 30 years ago tomorrow, and that no one knows why Jack Ruby killed Oswald three days later.

So I called my favorite inside source, Col. Ananias Ziegler, media relations director of the Committee That Really Runs America. He was surprised that I'd never asked earlier, but he was less than forthcoming.

First, I want to know your favorite theory, he said.

I didn't want to make a commitment. Angry anti-Castro Cuban exiles sounds pretty plausible, I began. They can still be pretty violent in Miami.

Don't you think that if they could organize the assassination of a head of state, Fidel Castro would be the target? he asked, thereby deflating that possibility.

There's organized crime -- a contract hit. They had a lot of reasons to be mad at JFK, I countered.

And there's the way that Ruby took out Oswald before he could talk, Ziegler added. And Ruby's story that he just wanted to spare Jackie the pain of later testifying in Dallas makes about as much sense as a CIA denial that it overthrew some Third-World government.

It was exciting that he was about to spill the beans, but the thrill soon faded. Omerta or no omerta, those wise guys rat on each other all the time, Ziegler said. Don't you think that, in 30 years, one would have sang by now?

Good point. I mentioned the military-industrial complex.

But JFK was a hard-core Cold Warrior, Ziegler explained. He promised to go any distance and pay any price. He raised military spending. He got elected on a phony 'missile gap.' There's no credible evidence that he planned to pull out of Vietnam, or that our dirty little war there would have taken a different course if he had lived. Our military-industrial complex lost one of its most fervent supporters with Jack Kennedy.

Ziegler was right. Desperate, I mentioned a theory that emerged once when some friends were drinking coffee at our kitchen table. JFK was quite the skirt-chaser, I noted, and no one has investigated the possibility that he was shot by a jealous husband -- from what I gather, that's not all that uncommon in Texas.

That would explain plenty, Ziegler conceded. As soon as the establishment figured it out, then they rushed to preserve the Camelot legend by covering up the truth post-haste. But then again, a motorcade ambush isn't exactly the preferred modus operendi of an angry Lone Stare good ol' boy. He'd want a direct confrontation, and he'd be bragging on it afterward.

Good point. So who was responsible?

Well, who profited? Ziegler said. Think about it. Before 1963, network newscasts were only 15 minutes long, and most Americans got their news from newspapers and radio. TV was far from sitting at the core of American culture.

So what? I wondered.

Then there's the assassination, followed by a long weekend of everyone sitting at home, grief-stricken and glued to the tube. It put TV at the center of American life. And every five years, during the November ratings sweeps, we relive it all on TV, from every imaginable perspective -- Marina Oswald's recollections, JFK's boyhood escapades, Oliver Stone's fantasies -- and we again sit there entranced, almost hypnotized, forming a huge susceptible audience that the TV industry can sell to advertisers.

That's preposterous, I complained. If they'd set it up, don't you think they'd have something besides the Zapruder film, some definitive footage that showed what really happened in Dealy Plaza that terrible day?

They probably do, he agreed, but that would remove all the suspense and intrigue, and then there wouldn't be any reason to watch all the November specials.

Aghast, I asked if that was the official explanation from the Committee.

Of course not, he said. Our policy is to keep everybody guessing in the dark. That's how we really run America.


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