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Suppose Michael Peter Fay, the American teenager who faces caning and four months in jail in Singapore, had been convicted of spray-painting a bunch of cars in this country.
Granted, it's unlikely. Children of prosperous families who attend private schools may occasionally be suspected of such crimes.
But a smooth defense attorney, a few words to the
prosecutor over drinks, some chuckling about boys will
be boys,
arrangements for informal restitution, and
Junior's record remains unblemished so that he can someday
take his rightful superior position in society -- read any
honest biography of, say, the Kennedy family.
However, it could happen, at least in theory, and so I asked a district judge what penalties might apply.
Figure two counts of criminal mischief, a class-four
felony,
he said. No prior record, so a year of
probation and some restitution, along with community
service.
But could the penalty be more severe? In theory, yes.
You can go to the slam for eight years for a class-four
felony, so on two counts there's a possibility of 16
years.
Given the nature of American prisons, 16 years would leave many more scars than six hard lashes from a rattan cane. The judge agreed, but stressed that this was only an academic possibility.
It's safe to say that that kind of sentence for
vandalism would never be imposed in Colorado. We don't have
enough prison space.
At any rate, the American judicial system obviously doesn't intend to be more lenient than Singapore's. It may work that way in practice, but our official attitude, as reflected on the statute books, appears harsh enough: 16 years in the penitentiary as compared to four months and six excruciating lashes that draw blood. I suspect many people, if forced to choose, would prefer the latter.
Naturally, if my car had been among those vandalized, I'd want the punk to do the time, preferably after a few sessions with a cat o' nine tails.
And if I believed that one of my children, victim of a psychological disorder, had been falsely accused, coerced into a wrongful confession, and sentenced to such a brutal punishment, I'd be raising world-wide hell, too.
But even if that is the case and this represents a miscarriage of justice by some Asian despot, there's no reason to fret about the future of Michael Fay, assuming that he is released on schedule from the Singapore slam.
His book advance will run at least $1.5 million, which means $225,000 for the agent, $50,000 at best for the ghost-writer, and the rest to his account.
The made-for-TV-movie about how he was actually a victim, a la Donna Yanklich or the Menendez brothers, will fetch an equivalent amount, at least. Meanwhile the supermarket tabloids will engage in a bidding war for photos of his scarred buttocks.
By the time his fame has expired, he'll have a degree from Princeton and a healthy trust fund. He'll be in a position to insure that such things never happen to his son, no matter what he does, at least in this country.
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