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There's an old saying that Floods are acts of God,
but flood damage is an act of man.
That is, if people
didn't build in flood plains where the river obviously
flows on occasion, then there wouldn't be major disasters
with every goose-drowner thunderstorm.
Much the same thing is happening this summer with fires.
Forests burn and have burned since the Carboniferous Period
300 million years ago. But when there are houses in the
woods--especially expensive houses with shake-shingle
roofs, cedar siding and expansive redwood decks owned by
people with Save the Redwoods
and Protect the
Spotted Owl
stickers on their Jeep Cherokees--then a
mere brush fire becomes a national disaster.
Colorado offers an abundance of other stupid construction sites. McClure Pass between Paonia and Carbondale (a major commuting route for the working class who are welcome to mop floors in liberal Aspen but not to live there--how can one concentrate on significant global issues unless there's some cheap help to handle the catering?) was closed for a spell last winter on account of a major snowslide.
Highway crews used to shoot down small slides and plow them to keep the highway open. But now there are houses near the slide runs, and the home-owners might sue the state if it deliberately starts an avalanche.
Those houses should never have been built there, just like houses in the bottom of the Big Thompson canyon, or houses in the wind zone on the west side of Boulder, or dozens of other places prone to everything from regular hailstorms of biblical proportions to swelling soils that demolish foundations.
To solve this problem, some have proposed statewide zoning and building codes.
That sounds appealing, but why give our governments any more power? Is that why we live in America? Is that why men died storming Normandy Beach and crossed the icy Delaware to attack the Hessians?
Aside from employing building inspectors, what do building codes accomplish? Boulder has building codes, and it must also lead the observable universe in quick-spreading apartment-house fires. Saguache County doesn't have building codes, and people I've met there seem quite happy constructing their own homes from adobe, straw bales, recycled styrene, old boxcars, etc. They haven't had any lethal fires, so why inflict regulations upon them?
As for state-wide regulation in general, recall last September, when Gov. Roy Romer launched his re-election campaign. Not with a formal announcement, but by calling the General Assembly into special session to deal with juvenile gangs and to provide Romer with a front-page way to show how much he's concerned about crime.
Among the bills was a law which outlawed guns on school property. It seemed reasonable until this spring, when I talked to a woman who edits the newspaper in a small town on the Western Slope, where people were flagrantly violating Romer's grandstanding gun law.
It's a little town, so people come to our football
games and just park next to the field and watch from their
pickups,
she explained. And this being rural
Colorado, every local pickup has a gun rack filled to
capacity, right there on school property. It's what they've
always done, but now they're breaking state law.
What happened?
The school superintendent and police chief decided
that they weren't going to do anything unless somebody
complained, and so far, nobody's complained,
she said.
I suspect that if anyone does complain, he'll be
mercilessly harassed until he drops the complaint.
It just shows you how they make rules in Denver that
don't fit the world we live in. Maybe the governor could
come over and talk our football fans into giving up their
deer rifles in the name of safer urban schools?
That could be interesting, but there's a better solution than imposing a one-size-fits-all solution from Denver. The state government does have expertise, people who know about flood plains, fire-prone areas, avalanche paths, subsiding soils, and the dozens of other ways Mother Nature discourages stable homes in Colorado.
Instead of passing new restrictions, the state could use
its experts to produce a map with official Stupid
Zones.
You'd still be free to do whatever you liked with your property in a Stupid Zone. However, you'd manage on your own with no property services from the government. No road plowing or maintenance, no rescue, no flood insurance, no deputy sheriffs, no rebuilding assistance, no subsidized electric or telephone service, no standing to sue in court for property problems, no fire-fighters dying to protect the trophy-home lifestyles of the rich and famous.
The Stupid Zone would thus allow people to continue building whatever they liked, wherever they liked, and so the current real-estate boom could continue unabated. Outsiders buying property could find out about the Stupid Zone if they wanted to, but no one would be required to tell them about it.
Further, the Stupid Zone would instantly cut the size, expense and power of government at all levels, at minimum cost -- just convene the experts and draw the map. It's a worthy project for, say, Doug Bruce, and if he'll take it on, I'll be the first to sign the petition.
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