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It's back, slicker than ever

Published 26-Jul-1994 in the Denver Post
Copyright ©1994 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Trend-watchers argue that the 70s have come back in the 90s, and sure enough, an artifact of that era has returned: Colorful Colorado Magazine, published by the same Merrill Hastings, Jr., who put it out the first time around.

Like its earlier incarnation, the revived Colorado is slick and glossy, and almost as disgusting as disco or platform shoes with the commodified Colorado that it promotes in lascivious real-estate ads and glowing montane photography.

These sleek orographic landscapes resemble the women of Playboy. Real women have stretch marks, moles, and cellulite; this month's Playmate doesn't. Real mountains have power lines, road cuts, and tailings piles; the glamour mountains of Colorado (Playplaces of the month?) are nubile spires, streams, and meadows, eager for the urbane llama-packer in this year's Gore-Tex.

Granted, there's nothing wrong with looking at pretty pictures. But taken as a whole, the magazine practices hypocrisy.

Long ago, Hastings deserved congratulations for his campaign against poisoning on federal land. He's at it again.

But if Hastings indeed cares so much about the welfare of wildlife, why is his magazine promoting Colorado's Hidden Wildlands? The more folks who visit these uncrowded gems, the more vexations for wild creatures with the misfortune to dwell in the terrain of the Colorado Backcountry Guide and Mountain Biking on the Backcountry.

If it's evil for ranchers to kill eagles, bears, and lions, then isn't it just as wicked for developers to destroy wildlife habitat at Lake Catamount, Basalt Mountain Ranch, and Beaver Creek, all promoted within the covers of Colorado?

I'm no fan of poison on public lands (or private lands, for that matter) either, but what's the point of protecting wildlife from Compound 1080 and strychnine, only to have the critters vanish on account of the upscale real-estate developments advertised in Colorado or an invasion of experience-collectors who read the maps so thoughtfully published in Colorado?

Such thoughtfulness doesn't extend to the editing, however. You'd find more truth in a campaign speech than in this, about the D&RG Railroad: engineering feats like the now-abandoned Alpine tunnel over Colorado's Collegiate range...

Shall we count the errors? The Alpine Tunnel wasn't built by or for the D&RG, but the Union Pacific. There is no Collegiate range. It's the Sawatch Range which has some Collegiate peaks, none of them by the tunnel at Altman Pass. A tunnel doesn't go over a range, but through it.

Similar lapses pop up throughout Colorado. They're probably not important, though. The overwhelming message is that Colorado is a romantic image to be marketed to the discerning. The magazine's motto could be promoting the conspicuous consumption of the Colorado concept.

You'll never appreciate wilderness unless you buy a John Fielder Playplace of the Month calendar, your soles will grow weary unless you wear Kinney Colorado-brand footwear, and you'll never experience the True West unless you visit a Colorado-certified guest ranch where they don't poison wildlife because it all moved away about the time they developed the subdivision (all homes with heated marble floors, care-taker cottages, and similar lifestyle amenities) for environmentally-concerned Colorado readers.


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