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Perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised to read last week that the Cherry Creek school district now sells advertising on the sides of school buses.
But at first it was disconcerting. If one of the richest school districts in the state decides that it must compete with newspapers, magazines, billboard companies and broadcast outlets for advertising money, school finances must indeed be suffering in Colorado.
Further, as an occasional small-town publisher, I often
felt at a disadvantage when peddling advertising. The
school folks, when they were slicing into that limited pie
and selling ads for the yearbook or the sports calendar,
were a worthy cause
deserving of merchant dollars. I
was merely attempting to support my family and pay the
taxes to operate those schools that were trying to deprive
me of income, so I was apparently an unworthy
cause.
On further reflection, though, I figured that since Cherry Creek is a rich district, it offers a good audience to advertisers. Antonito or Conejos schools may need the money more, but the people who see their school buses probably don't enjoy as much discretionary income.
However, as I read more, I had to wonder whether it will provide the benefits that the advertisers want.
A Norwest bank official said his company will buy Cherry Creek bus space with money normally designated for professional sports marketing.
If I understand professional sports marketing correctly, then I am supposed to be thrilled every time I walk into the local Bank One branch, since I like baseball and Bank One has a lobby filled with paraphernalia.
(Among which was a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Don Baylor, which caused a local stir when it was installed. A police officer passed by the bank after hours, saw a big guy holding a club inside, and called for backup as it appeared that there was a robbery in progress.)
The bank's marketing people must have reasoned that I
would jump right into line and think Gee, it's great to
be associated with a bank that has paid a lot of money to a
thriving organization that doesn't need more money.
Some other bank, one not run by savvy people like
those Bank One directors in Ohio, might have wasted that
money that goes to the Rockies by lowering loan interest,
increasing customer interest, hiring more tellers for
better service, taking more chances on local enterprises or
reducing service fees.
Boy do I feel good about banking here at the Official
Bank of the Colorado Rockies.
That I did not think that way about the Bank One-Rockies relationship may just indicate a flaw in my character, but I feel compelled to warn the Norwest guy that there's at least one person out here who is not seduced by professional sports marketing.
If buying school-bus advertising comes from the same logic as professional sports marketing tie-ins, then it may not produce a favorable image for the advertiser.
But in this bus scheme, at least our round-heeled schools are being candid. Often the marketing hustle just slips in.
For instance, when my daughters were in grade school, they were encouraged to read with the lure of free food from Pizza Hut.
Now, there's nothing wrong with encouraging reading, but reading ought to be a pleasure in itself -- not a way to put the Pizza Hut logo in every classroom.
Another fast-food hustle comes from KFC (which used to
be Kentucky Fried Chicken, but the word fried
has
acquired an unhealthy connotation). KFC gets into the
classroom by financing much of the DARE program.
DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) wastes a lot of precious classroom time that might go to geography or grammar, and there's absolutely no evidence that it has any effect on adolescent drug use.
The kids don't learn anything about drugs, either -- my
daughters, both honor students, didn't know upper from
downer from bender from twister after all their DARE
exposure. I naively thought they might have learned
something of chemistry and biology. However, the elementary
principal said that DARE does not provide mere academic
knowledge, but instead imparts holistic refusal
skills
-- whatever those are.
But the kids do learn to recognize Col. Sanders, and to identify birds raised in tiny indoor pens on corporate farms and then cooked in deep fat with all that is wholesome.
So, a few more ads around the schools won't matter. They're already awash in corporate propaganda, and they've always got their hands out for more.
How long before there are full-page ads in the textbooks (see President Lincoln talk at Disney World!), sponsorships for the morning announcements over the intercom, company logos on the classroom clocks that everyone stares at and maybe a few kickbacks for teachers who, like those athletic coaches who build character, agree to wear only certain clothing lines?
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