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Every so often, I run across a piece of Colorado propaganda which encourages companies to move here because we have a disciplined and highly educated labor pool which will work for low wages.
India also boasts such a work force, and it may represent the goal of Colorado's recent growth trends. Just keep our developers and subdividers at work, and in 20 years the Front Range will be as thriving and prosperous as Calcutta.
But sometimes I wonder whether Colorado's population is as educated as we pretend. You figure that, in a democracy, we give public office to the leaders among us -- the smarter and better people.
And so, to see whether you're qualified to hold office in Colorado, you should take this simple test.
1. Your state is getting overwhelmed by rapid growth. While it's nice to have a booming economy, governmental services sometimes have trouble keeping up with demand. Do you:
A) Reform the present tax and fee structure so that growth pays its own way and existing people and enterprises do not have to subsidize their competitors?
B) Reform the present tax and fee structure so that invading enterprises pay at least the same taxes as existing enterprises?
C) Expand the enterprise zone
concept, which
gives tax breaks to favored people and is run so sloppily
that nobody knows whether it works or not?
2. A prominent and successful businessman announces that a certain substantial investment will never pay a sufficient return, but he really wants it anyway. Do you:
A) Agree with his sound judgment and avoid pouring public money into an unprofitable private venture?
B) Tell him that people in hell want ice water?
C) Decide that the Broncos really do need a new stadium to provide more skyboxes for the businessman to rent to fat cats, and that it makes perfect sense to tax people making $18,000 a year in order to provide a comfortable arena for people making $2 million a year.
3. Gasoline prices have risen, and some of your constituents are upset. Do you:
A) Take steps to reduce the demand, such as improved public transit, which will lower the price?
B) Call for the state take-over of the oil companies so that they will be run for the benefit of the public, not some distant stockholders?
C) Raise the speed limit so people will burn more gas and increase demand and cause fuel prices to go even higher?
4. An area between the two largest cities in the state is developing rapidly, but its water comes from an aquifer which will be depleted in just a few years. Do you:
A) Forbid further development in this desert?
B) Require that prospective buyers be warned that they may not have water in the near future?
C) Realize that, if enough people move in there, they'll have enough money and political clout to steal all the water they need from some poor and unpopulated area like Saguache County?
5. The highways of your state are decaying and congested. Do you:
A) Figure so what? The worse the roads are, the less people will drive, and the happier and healthier the population in the long term.
B) Find a way to put more money into the highway fund, even though experience demonstrates that new highways reach capacity almost overnight, and that the congestion problems will remain?
C) Agree to abandon almost a quarter of the main-line railroad mileage in the state?
6. You have moved to a poor but scenic town. Finally some money starts to flow in. Do you spend it on:
A) New water and sewage treatment plants because the old ones barely work?
B) A gymnasium, field house and lights for the football field in a school district with overcrowded classrooms?
C) A jet port, 18-hole golf course and swimming pool-recreation complex?
Scoring: Give yourself 0 points for every A answer, 5 points for each B, and 10 points for each C.
0-20: You couldn't get elected to the landfill oversight commission. You're unfit for any office of public honor or trust in this state. In fact, we don't even let people like you vote here -- just look at the election returns if you don't believe me.
25-40: At the low end, you're promising county commissioner material, and on the high end, you're qualified to be a state legislator.
45-55: A seat in the Colorado General Assembly is yours for the asking, and with any luck at all, you'll move up to the U.S. Congress in a few years.
60: You could be governor.
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