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The Dole-Kemp media consultants and spin doctors are looking for new tactics as the election nears and their candidate continues to trail by double-digit percentages.
Thus we read that they'll take off the gloves, or pour
more resources into California, or pursue the character
issue
more zealously. They do seem desperate, and
perhaps they're so desperate that they'll try my
suggestions:
· The Peace and Quiet Economic Policy. The other day, I ran into some fellow idlers in historic downtown Salida. As we violated the loitering ordinance, we had trouble hearing each other, on account of the traffic noise.
What happened to the lazy little town we used to
have, where dogs slept in the street?
one guy
asked.
That dogs don't get good naps any more is just the start of the problem. Every county around here is grappling with growth problems -- water supplies in town, subdivisions in the countryside, congested highways, housing shortages, police population explosions, newer and bigger jails, etc.
We never had these problems during the Reagan-Bush years, when rural counties were losing population, banks failed, houses stayed on the market for years and many storefronts were dark and shuttered.
I mentioned that, and said that might be a good reason to vote for Dole-Kemp, since they want to bring back the economic policies which made all that serenity possible.
The other civic nuisances agreed, just as an active local Republican chanced by. We presented our logic to him, and offered our services as volunteers to go door-to-door, explaining how a Dole-Kemp victory might restore our traditional civic values of sloth, poverty and hanging out.
He demurred, saying the county central committee wouldn't see things that way. But other Republicans may be more sensible than ours, and so I hope they'll pick up on this. It could be a winner.
· You Know What You're Getting. A year ago, Bob Dole did everything he could to make sure that the UP-SP railroad merger would be approved by pushing legislation that would put merger oversight under the Surface Transportation Board, rather than the Department of Justice.
UP employees contributed heavily to his campaign, and the SP's Phil Anschutz has also provided extensive financial support to Dole.
Last March, many of Dole's Kansas constituents saw what the merger would do to them -- higher shipping prices and reduced service -- and appealed to him for help.
He said that since he was getting campaign support from people who wanted the merger, he'd just have to stay neutral.
He had a choice between acting on behalf of his constituents and acting on behalf of his campaign contributors. He took an official position that he wouldn't help either -- except that by then, he'd already given his contributors all the help they needed from Bob Dole.
Now, some might look at this as another sad example of the malign influence of big money on politics, but it also demonstrates that Dole more than satisfies the historic definition of an honest American politician: once bought, he stays bought, no matter what comes up later.
This means you know what you're getting when you support Bob Dole, and that's a big improvement on Bill Clinton, who once led me to believe that we'd get national health insurance and more sensible drug laws.
· Blame the Public. The usual tactic is to blame
the Biased Liberal Media for covering up,
in the
belief that if people only knew what a sleazebag Bill
Clinton is, they'd vote for anybody else.
However, the Biased Liberal Media have published acres of bad stuff about Clinton: Whitewater, Hillary's law practice, missing FBI files, Tyson Foods, draft dodging, Jennifer Flowers, didn't inhale, etc. I can't recall any president whose flaws have been so thoroughly publicized.
Surveys show that American voters are fully aware, and yet many voters are still willing to give Clinton another term.
Thus the moral flaws lie not with the Biased Liberal Media, which have apparently succeeded in informing informed the public, but with that portion of the public that knows but either doesn't care or considers other matters more important.
How to get them to care?
It's difficult to run against a majority of the
population while you're soliciting their votes, but Dole
could argue that Your minds have been poisoned by
garbage from Hollywood, and so it's not really your
fault,
or that This shows the sort of decay this
country faces on account of our deteriorating public school
system.
Dole could then promise a new federal program for rehabilitating the morally challenged. This would soften his harsh image, and make him appear a man of compassion, not rancor.
But he's got to wait until the last minute, lest Clinton grab it and run with it.
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