< PREVIOUS ] [ 1997 Index ] [ Ed Quillen HOME ] [ SEARCH ] [ NEXT >
The recently concluded Presidential Volunteer Summit in
Philadelphia reminds me of one of those personality tests
they gave in school, with questions like Would you
rather kiss a girl, read a book, or take underprivileged
children to the zoo?
A sensible answer depends on the girl, the book and the weather on the day in question, but those tests aren't designed to elicit reasoned responses. Neither was the volunteer summit.
The first problem is that in modern households, there just isn't much time for volunteering, and it's going to get worse.
For instance, the common TV set is one of those rare things that is actually simpler to operate now than during my youth.
Back then, watching TV, especially on a color set, required constant adjustments of horizontal and vertical hold, as well as color hue and saturation. And you had to get up to change the channel or adjust the sound volume.
Now the signal comes in fine instantly, and changing channels is a snap. Naturally, that happy state could not be permitted to continue, so we're getting digital HDTV, which will make the TV set operate pretty much like a computer -- that is, sporadically and mysteriously, with many hours spent on hold while attempting to call the support department.
Add to that the other vexations of modern life -- car repairs, sales calls from long-distance companies, house and yard maintenance -- and it amazes me that Girl Scouts, youth soccer leagues and pioneer museums, all of which rely heavily on volunteers, operate at all, let alone appear to thrive.
There's also a problem with the nature of volunteer service requested by our betters, such as teaching children to read. America spends about $280 billion a year on elementary and secondary schools.
Plus, I spent a lot of time reading to my own kids, and I bet other parents would, too, if they didn't have to be working two jobs in order to pay that $280 billion.
This brings up another problem with the Volunteer Summit. They act as though volunteerism is dead in America and sorely in need of revival.
Actually, many of us, even small-town curmudgeons who appear to have no more community interest than so many cats, donate hours, sometimes days and weeks, to community affairs.
It happens every time a local government comes up with another gentrification scheme -- for instance, a master plan to zone out the poor, or a loitering ordinance that would keep us from chatting with each other on the sidewalk. Then we attend lengthy hearings, conduct lengthy research projects and conspire to plot ways to make trouble for the authorities.
None of us earns a nickel for all this community service, and we don't even get thanked by the city government for our tireless efforts to preserve our indolent and slothful way of life.
And when I look around, I see many other forms of volunteerism alive and well throughout this great republic.
For instance, America abounds in volunteer media
critics, who offer generous guidance to those of us who
might have otherwise watched Ellen
the other night.
They've also warned me about NYPD Blue,
The
Simpsons,
Natural Born Killers,
National Public
Radio, Saturday Night Live
and other attempts to
poison our minds. Words fail me when I attempt to express
my gratitude for their devoted efforts.
Not only that, but other volunteers generously monitor school classes in biology and geology to insure that our youth will graduate knowing that the world came into being at 9 a.m. on October 23, 4004 B.C. We just wouldn't be the same country without them.
Nor would the America we know and love function without
other volunteers: those brave souls who stockpile arms and
ammunition to protect us from the black helicopters of the
New World Order; the dedicated seekers who gather on
hilltops to summon UFOs and thereby further our knowledge
of the universe; the hyper-sensitive volunteer enforcers
who find racism, sexism, classism, ageism, specism and
offenses against diversity in places where many of us less
enlightened folks might have missed these affronts; unpaid
savants who dig deep into their eloquence to announce
Here's a megaditto, Rush.
So I'm not sure why Gen. Colin Powell and all those presidents gathered in Philadelphia last week -- seems to me we've got plenty of volunteerism, perhaps even too much.
< PREVIOUS ] [ 1997 Index ] [ Ed Quillen HOME ] [ SEARCH ] [ NEXT >