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On many days, I rise early enough to get a glance at the dawn climbing over the Arkansas Hills east of the river, illuminating the soaring snow-clad summits of the Sangre de Cristo and Sawatch ranges to the west, first in a watermelon-pink alpenglo, then brightening to a radiant peach before beginning to shimmer and glisten in a blinding white.
And even on mornings when I sleep through that grand
spectacle, I'm still glad I don't live on the dreary flats
of Weld County any more. Especially now that the Weld
County Republican Party has decided to set up a candidate
review board which will determine whether candidates are
morally and ethically qualified for public
office.
The Weld GOP policy apparently considers personal
matters as part of the criteria for passing muster with the
review board, since candidates are supposed to exercise
moral uprightness, integrity and marital
fidelity.
What's the problem with that?
Let's try a little quiz. Pick from one of these candidates for high office:
Candidate A has kept a mistress, associates often with ward heelers and bagmen, chainsmokes Camel straights and relaxes every evening with a few martinis.
Candidate B smokes cigars, swills brandy by the quart, often sleeps until noon, and used opium in his youth.
Candidate C, a decorated war hero, is a vegetarian who loves animals. He does not smoke and his drinking is limited to an occasional glass of wine or beer. He is not known to have carried on any sexual affairs, since he is so devoted to his country.
After you have selected the best candidate, replace A with Franklin D. Roosevelt, B with Winston Churchill, and C with Adolf Hitler.
Then you'll see one problem with the personal purity precepts for candidates -- a genocidal monster might boast a rather exemplary personal life, while certain great democratic leaders of the past would be rejected forthwith by the Weld County Republican Candidate Review Board.
The same sort of perverse logic has infected other political arenas, such as the confirmation of supreme court justices.
Oliver Wendell Homes, the great dissenter
and a
jurist whose opinions are still studied carefully, was a
notorious skirt-chaser and hung out in burlesque halls. In
modern America, he wouldn't even get a nomination, let
alone a confirmation hearing.
And yet, would our Republic be better served by another Holmes, or by some pure-minded vacuum?
That said, the motivation behind the Weld County purity policy might be a sound one. It's just the execution that is moronic.
When I talk to friends, they share my dismay at the duplicity and hypocrisy at all levels of government. And we'd like to elect people who hold themselves to the same standards that they expect us to follow.
For instance, the Salida city government has been inflicting water meters on us, at $800 apiece. Half the town was metered last summer, and the rest of us are supposed to get metered this summer.
We are told that a state law requires the town to install meters, and it's important to obey the state law.
Well, fine. But the same state law says that metered billing will start within 90 days of installation, and that hasn't happened yet. If it's important for us to obey the law, why isn't it important for the city?
In the process of installing meters, the city has ripped out trees, without notifying the landowners -- even though a city ordinance requires 10 days' notice before a tree is removed. Again, is it asking too much for a government to obey its own laws?
Apparently, it's like asking Gov. Roy Romer to obey the state constitution that he swore to protect and defend. Among its provisions is an article that forbids the merger or consolidation of parallel or competing railroad lines -- a provision that Romer willfully and happily refused to enforce.
At the federal level, we get V-chips, Internet regulation, new and improved wiretaps -- name a provision of the Bill of Rights, and you'll find a senator or representative who wants to violate it.
In short, a party might do well to hold its candidates up to certain standards. But the standards should be relevant. Given the choice between vice-ridden sinners who take their work seriously, and clean-living exemplars who can't even follow the rules they make for themselves -- I'll take the sinners every time.
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