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Certain of my vehicular activities are events I'd prefer to watch, rather than participate in, because they're probably amusing.
In one case, that of backing a trailer, I am certain of its entertainment value. When I used to haul our household trash to the county landfill myself, the garbage rode in a utility trailer behind the family pickup.
To get the trailer to the discharge site meant that I had to back it. As I nervously put the pickup into reverse and began easing the steering wheel in small arcs, most of the dump crew would park their bulldozers and backhoes to go climb aboard the machine with the best view. From that perch, they'd enjoy 15 or 20 minutes of mirth, watching some idiot back all over the dump when he wasn't jack-knifed or sliding in the mud.
Although this was somewhat humiliating, I never really
begrudged them this small pleasure. For one thing, I've
never seen working at a landfill
on any list of
the 100 most desirable jobs in America.
For
another, on really bad days, one of the guys would take
pity on me, and after a few minutes, would walk over and
offer to take the pickup's wheel and back the trailer
himself. Then as I stood and marveled, he'd whip it back
in about 10 seconds.
My visits to greater metropolitan Denver doubtless amuse
some observers, too, as with Who's the jerk driving the
speed limit in the left lane?
or How could anybody
not know that Alameda is north of Hampden?
And there was the time I inspired considerable honking
and light-blinking because, driving solo on some errand, I
ventured into a freeway lane reserved for Buses and
HOV.
HOV isn't on any signs around Salida, and I had no idea what it stood for. Hurting Old Van? Honda Or Volkswagen? Hudson, Olds, Valiant? High On Valium?
Fortunately for my clean driving record, I left the
special High Occupancy Vehicle
lane before a cop
spotted me. And if certain legislators get their way,
what I did could become legal if I were willing to pay.
The idea is to charge for permits so that wealthy solo
motorists can use these lanes, which to date have been
reserved for buses and carpools. The proposed Lexus
lanes
have been roundly criticized as an assault on the
presumably egalitarian nature of American public
facilities.
But I don't know why highways should be any different from other things built with public money.
Consider the new $250 million football stadium for Denver, of which $180 million will come from a sales tax levied in metropolitan counties.
Just because you pay for the stadium, does that mean you get into it? Of course not. And even if you can afford a ticket to a Bronco game, does that mean you get a good seat?
Probably not. And the best seats in our public stadiums, up in the skyboxes, go to people willing to part with serious money. Should the best lanes of our public highways be any different?
You might also consider any large airport. We all get to pay for airports (their bonds are tax-free, thus increasing other people's tax payments, and the government says that's because airports serve a public purpose, even though airlines are private companies).
But does paying for an airport get you into the VIP lounge, where you might actually be comfortable while waiting for a flight? Of course not.
Our public airports set aside certain areas for the high-rollers who are willing to spend money; why not our public highways?
Or look at our public schools. Do rich and poor get the same deal there? The rich generally abide in upscale jurisdictions that spend more on their schools, resulting in smaller classes and better facilities. These schools have to be competitive with private schools, since their patrons could afford to send their children to private schools.
In other words, the rich are generally willing spend more on education for their children, and they generally get more, too.
So if Colorado's wealthier motorists are willing to spend more on our public roads, in exchange for access to special lanes -- how is that different?
Should we really expect them to want to associate with us plebeian rabble, if there's any way they can avoid that ordeal by spending a few of their many dollars? Their time is valuable, and for all I know, our economy would thrive even more if they weren't mired in bumper-to-bumper proletarian gridlock.
Setting aside some Lincoln and Lexus lanes would not
destroy the egalitarian spirit of America.
For one
thing, there isn't one, and for another, it would just be
an extension of current off-the-road trends.
And besides, watching the sole occupant of a Mercedes cruise down the HOV lane while trying to tend to cell phone, laptop computer, synthesized GPS navigation command voices, high-end CD player, steaming espresso -- that might even more entertaining than watching me back a trailer.
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