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Suppose the mayor's good example were contagious

Published 2 July 2000 in The Denver Post
Copyright ©2000 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

Around here, one hot topic is the mayor's decision to cancel the traditional July 4 fireworks show from Tenderfoot Hill (one quick way to mark yourself as a rank outsider is to call it S Mountain).

Citing high fire danger, he made the announcement before the first discernible rainfall of the millennium last Sunday. It's not that the city fireworks display presents any special fire danger, since the firemen put it on, and so they're right at hand with plenty of equipment if a hot spark ignites some of the weeds and brush on that side of the tracks.

But Mayor Jaime Lewis said it might set a bad example. People might think well, if the city can set off fireworks, then why can't I?

At first, I was appalled by his decision. Generally, the city puts on a pretty good fireworks show, and that reduces my temptation to break the law by acquiring and igniting missiles and explosives smuggled from other jurisdictions.

Other people probably feel the same way, and it seems to me that we're safer with one monitored fireworks show than with thousands of unmonitored skyrockets, roman candles, ladyfingers, silver salutes, M-80s and the like.

Further, Independence Day fireworks should be good for the local economy. If we have fireworks here, we're not as likely to venture to Westcliffe (great show mirrored over Lake DeWeese) or Gunnison (perhaps the best show in the mountains, but do dress warmly, since it can and does frost in July there). Thus more money stays in town, and tourists are more likely to come to Salida and stay for a while, supporting our restaurants and motels, if it has fireworks.

Finally, a friend recently pointed out another benefit from the fireworks. At the recent 50th birthday party of a woman who probably prefers to remain unnamed on that account, some of us were discussing the means of preventing the unwanted photon bombardment of our property.

My pellet gun is real quiet, and it used to work pretty well on those street and yard lights, this friend explained. But some of the new lights have Lexan shields, and the pellets don't work any more. Now I have to use my .22 rifle.

But doesn't the noise from the gun attract some unwanted attention from the constabulary? I asked.

I just wait until the Fourth, and shoot them out during the fireworks, he explained. There are so many bangs and pops then that nobody notices me protecting my property from trespassing light.

We wondered why, in a state with a legislature which devoutly protects certain property rights -- mostly those of developers and subdividers -- no one had bothered to protect an ordinary citizen's right not to have his property illuminated after sundown. If there's a make my day law, why isn't there a save my night law?

All these considerations made me want to corner the mayor and give him an earful the next time I saw him wheeling down the street, but then I gave more thought to his announcement. As much as I enjoy fireworks, even more I enjoy the idea that government should not set a bad example.

Suppose, for instance, that a metropolitan police chief announced that We really don't approve if an armed mob kicks in man's door at night, then stomps into the house and kills him when he's trying to protect his family. In fact, we're totally opposed to such conduct. So we won't do it either -- no more no-knock warrants.

Or an educrat announced that We have criticized the governor's school-grading proposal because we think it's unfair to use a single letter to characterize a complex situation. And to set an example, we will no longer use single-letter grades on our students; every parent will get the kind of detailed report that we would like the state to use when evaluating our work.

Or a governor said I wouldn't like it if I had a nosy neighbor who insisted on overseeing my backyard garden, let alone threatening to confiscate my land if he didn't like my choice of plants. I think that sort of conduct is really intrusive, and people ought to mind their own business. So to set a good example, I'm taking the state out of the garden-supervision business.

Or a president said We get really upset when other countries attempt to meddle in our domestic politics, so to set a good example, we're not going to meddle in other countries' domestic politics.

If these things ever happened, I'd be glad to give up fireworks on the Fourth, although in that case, we really would have something to celebrate.


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