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The excitement in Colorado elections seldom comes from candidates for office. Granted, it can be interesting to help determine which people should be forced to leave our mountains and move to the steamy tidal mudflats of Washington, D.C., but in general, we save our passion for the amendments, initiatives and referenda on the ballot.
Thus most of the commentary this year, whether in a folksy small-town weekly or on these august pages, has focused on things like Amendment 21 (vote yourself a tax cut while losing control over local services) and Amendment 24 (only those developers with enough money to buy elections will be permitted to sprawl).
Those aren't the only measures on our ballot. There are also proposals to allow physicians to prescribe certain traditional botanic remedies, to increase your opportunity to lose your money in lotteries, to put more money into Colorado schools, and even to allow county surveyors to be appointed, rather than elected, if a county still has an official surveyor.
There's more, of course, but after further reading of the ballot we will face next month, it strikes me that we're missing a chance to vote on some other proposals which, if adopted, would improve life in the Centennial State:
· Referendum S: Defines Spewts (a/k/a SUVs or Sport Utility Vehicles) and requires a special driver's license to operate one in Colorado.
The Spewt certification will be granted only after the applicant passes a test which shows that he knows that the high-adventure big-splash back-country rooster-tail-plume excitement that they show in TV ads is a fabrication designed to appeal to the intelligence-impaired.
Other requirements include knowing the difference between public and private property, demonstrating the ability to identify and avoid mud, and revealing an awareness of various principles of junior-high physics, specifically that a vehicle with a narrow track and high clearance designed for back roads is more likely to tip over than a vehicle with a wide track and low clearance designed for paved roads.
· Initiative 30: Provides for a mandatory minimum of one year in the state penitentiary and a fine of $10,000 for any public official found in violation of the Colorado Open Meetings Law or the Colorado Public Records Law.
As it is, these laws are on the books, but there's no effective enforcement method. It's time we quit this knee-jerk bleeding-heart mollycoddling, and start getting serious about cracking down on crimes against the public.
· Initiative 31: Repeals all hidden subsidies. As it is developers cut deals with local governments for tax abatements, road improvements and utility assistance, and local taxpayers (who may be business competitors of the development if it's a shopping mall) get to pick up the tab.
This would require direct payments, rather than indirect subsidies, to these developments.
Since the state constitution forbids appropriating public money to subsidize private enterprises, certain foolish citizens might expect the subsidies to stop, and those idealistic efforts would provide a lot of entertainment for those of us who know better than to expect Colorado to follow its own constitution.
· Amendment 30.06: Provides for the re-establishment of local militias in every Colorado town, city and county. Each citizen, age 18 to 65, would be required to attend at least one drill per month.
Membership in a well-regulated militia
that is
necessary to the security of a free State
would help
insure the Second Amendment rights of Colorado gun-owners,
and civic-minded liberals could hardly oppose the increased
community involvement that this would produce.
The local militia would of course be summoned to repel invaders: subdividers, developers, water diverters, highway expanders, big boxes, franchise strips and similar threats to local life.
What of conscientious objectors, as well as those who are physically unable to drill on the village green? They could still participate by disabling enemy bulldozers, removing survey stakes, standing or sitting in the way, hacking enemy computer systems, etc.
Our militias can thus be more than inclusive, and broad
citizen participation is a sure cure for that bowling
alone
syndrome that has so many people worried these
days. And if we followed this tradition of the Founding
Fathers, we wouldn't need anything like Amendment 24.
Sure, the ballot looks long this year, with a dozen statewide issues. But it should be obvious now that our ballot isn't nearly long enough, what with all these other proposals that deserve consideration.
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