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Throughout last week, we were treated to an expanse of publicity about the Colorado Students Assessment Program tests.
Like a good citizen, I took the 10th-grade test published in the Feb. 5 Post. I did pretty well, but I've always been good at taking standardized tests -- back in high school, my ACT and SAT scores were much higher than my grades would have indicated.
That's because it's a lot easier to focus on a test for an hour or two than it is to go to class every day, listen to the teacher and do the assignments. The major problem with this talent is that I've never found a way to earn a living by taking a couple of tests every year.
But the real problem with the tests I saw is that they're for Colorado students, and yet the tests don't relate to our state. The tests should have questions like these:
1) The Colorado State Land Board wants to sell a
school section
of 640 acres, more or less. Nearby
land has been selling for up to $12,500 an acre. How much
will the land board ask for its parcel?
A) $12,500 an acre
B) $5,000 an acre
C) $1,560 an acre
2) When Congressman M campaigned in 1992, he said he supported term limits and that three terms were enough. As of early 2001, how many terms had he campaigned for and won?
3) According to Euclid's Elements, the distance between two points is the same in either direction. According to the Colorado Department of Transportation, the distance between Salida and Gunnison via Monarch Pass is:
A) 66 miles if you start from Gunnison
B) 71 miles if you start from Salida
C) A lot longer than either if you're making the trip in the winter.
4) Developer Z has an option on 320 acres near a highway. Which course should he pursue in order to get the most income in the least time:
A) Cut a lease deal with a big box so that the local government, eager for sales-tax revenue, will offer utility and tax abatements?
B) Identify his likely opponents, and hit them with a pre-emptive SLAPP suit?
C) Engage a prominent 17th-Street attorney to appear at local zoning meetings, thereby intimidating local officials who don't want to endure lengthy and expensive litigation?
D) Contribute to the election campaigns of local candidates who will view this development favorably?
5) If City D removes 50,000 acre-feet of water a year
from Basin R, then offers to build compensatory
storage
in that basin, how much water does Basin R gain
in this transaction?
[Extra Credit]
6) Police Officer B lied on an affidavit for a search warrant, and as a result, an innocent person was killed. Young Woman A was unarmed and in police custody when a murder occurred.
Young Woman A received a life sentence without parole,
while Police Officer B received a 12-month suspended
sentence. Calculate the ratio between these sentences, and
explain how this relates to the phrase Equal Justice
Under Law.
ANSWERS: 1) D. 2) 5. 3) All three are correct.
4) Any one of these might work, but finding the option with the best return, based on present value, requires mathematical skills beyond those that are taught in public schools.
5) Basin R loses 50,000 acre-feet a year, no matter how you spin it.
6) Young Woman A has approximately 55 more years to live, according to standard mortality tables, so we set her jail time at that. Officer B never spent a minute in jail, so his sentence is zero.
Dividing 55 (or any other number) by 0 produces an undefined result, and so the ratio between the sentences in incalculable.
And if you can explain how these two sentences can be
reconciled with the phrase Equal Justice Under Law,
then you should immediately apply for a job as spinmeister
with the Denver District Attorney's office.
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