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Is this problem homophonophobia or homophonophilia?

Published 5 June 2001 in The Denver Post.
Copyright ©2001 by Ed Quillen. All rights reserved.

One of my many flaws as a writer became painfully apparent a week ago. Where I should have written pedaling, instead I wrote peddling. This error somehow slipped past the copy editors at the Post -- who are usually adept at catching my mistakes before they appear in print.

For those of you who inquired, I wish to point out that I do know the difference between what Lance Armstrong does and what the Fuller Brush salesman does.

This wasn't my first difficulty with homophones -- words that sound the same but have a different spelling and meaning.

Earlier this year, in another publication, I wrote about a bridal trail near a national park; of course it was a bridle trail.

The most embarrassing, back when I worked for the local paper, was when I got the winner of a Soil Conservation Service poster contest over the phone, and published the name as Aaron Doe rather than Erin Doe. I've also been caught by Dawn and Don.

One galling thing about these stupid mistakes is that I know I'm prone to them, and I make it a habit to check for my usual suspects: here and hear, or there, their and they're.

A few years ago, I tried a computer program which was alleged to spot such errors. It did find the common mistakes, but it also complained about sexist diction every time it found he or his or him. It whined about over-use of words of more than two syllables and urged a revision when it found sentences in excess of 16 words.

It was worse than a nuisance, and it knew nothing of context, so it didn't flag a their that should have been there -- it spotted every there and their, and demanded a confirmation from me. Since at least 99 percent of them were proper, I was so accustomed to clicking Approve that I clicked right past the errors.

Thus the program did no good, and it wasted precious loafing time, too. Further, the program said it checked for homonyms, when I really needed to check for homophones.

There are three terms for words that look or sound alike.

· A homograph is a word spelled the same way as another, but with a different pronunciation and meaning. For instance, you can lead troops into battle, or you can install a new lead in your mechanical pencil.

(By analogy, we should use heterograph for a word with the same pronunciation and meaning, but different spelling, as with donut and doughnut.)

· A homonym has the same pronunciation and spelling, but a different origin and meaning: i.e., the sash you might wear around your waist (from the Arabic word for muslin) and a window sash (from the French word chassis).

· A homophone is pronounced the same as another word, but has a different meaning and spelling: peddling and pedaling.

Some might argue that these two words shouldn't be pronounced the same, and they may be right. One of my most humiliating memories is from the 1963 awards ceremony at the end of my seventh-grade year at Evans Junior-Senior High School, just south of Greeley.

It was my honor to speak briefly of my trip to the state spelling bee, and I told the assembled parents and students that I had received a bronze pin for my fourth-place finish in the Weld County spelling bee, and a nice writing pen at the state contest.

I pronounced them identically, as I still do. My teacher immediately strode to the lectern and told the crowd that What Eddie meant to say was ... She then pronounced them differently, p-eh-n for the writing implement. I wanted to sink under the stage, although there were pleasant thoughts of strangling her first.

As nearly as I can tell, some internal voice sounds out words to myself as I write (not rite or wright, right?), and in the dialect I speak after 50 years in Colorado, peddle and pedal are pronounced the same.

People reared in more civilized regions might enunciate them differently, but those people have pronunciation problems too, as with a Denver TV announcer who once told us of an airplane crash in Cone Joss County.

I have considered engaging a sign painter to duplicate a poster that used to hang in many newspaper city rooms, back when those were interesting places with cigar smoke and raunchy jokes.

It said A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. You're supposed to know the difference.

This indicates that homophones have long bedeviled people in this line of work, and so, my peddling-pedaling mishap represents not carelessness or stupidity, but the continuation of tradition.

How's that for spin?


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